IS THIS THE PINNACLE?
Let the PDC decide. Is this the most retarded Labrat effort?
As some of the older crew would remember I don't have a great track record with golf courses, namely golf buggies, after Jack Daniels and I had a head-on collision with two carts on the Coffs Harbour End of Season Trip. The golf club made an attempt to claim a $4000 bill from the club and were told to fuck off if I remember correctly.
Sunday I found myself attending a company golf tournament and unfortunately I am now 0/2 at keeping a golf buggy in one piece. If only that was the worst of it.
Paired with my girlfriend and my boss (none of us the designated driver) par for the course was set at a drink a hole and we kept pace until we finished the front 9. At this point Ally and I decided to introduce hash into the equation. Within a few holes I had fallen out of the buggy for no reason while negotiating a simple U-turn, had the cart on two wheels with my boss beside me and then finally launched my boss out of the cart when he tried to hang on to the side.
All fun and games.
On to the 17th hole and after a bit of socialising with another group and the girlfriend falling off in another low speed U-turn incident I was booting the cart along the tar track to catch up with the boss when I rounded a sharp corner, beer in hand, and went flying out the side of the cart, hit the tar then rolled several metres along the glass, ripping my elbow open in the process.
With no driver the cart continued its turn straight into a fence pole which launched my girlfriend through the front of the cart and face first on to the tar. My boss managed to bend the cart back into shape before I drove it to the carpark and switched it for the car to drive to a hospital completely hammered with a bleeding girlfriend. My girlfriend was not as easily bent back into shape.
She came out of it with stitches in her very black eye, stitches in her lip, road rash on her face, arm and legs and a whole bunch of bruises. Let us say I am not in the good books with her or her parents.
Myself, I came away with stitches in a gouge to my elbow that came close to a nerve, a course of antibiotics, an $800 hospital bill, shortened rugby season and a girlfriend not all that happy that I came out of it better than her.
Obviously at this point in time I feel this is the most retarded/amusing effort I have produced to date. There was also the time I fell out of a tree drunk and ended up with a tree stake in my throat, or when I put my head through a shop window and almost had it chopped off...
But I would like to hear from the PDC. Is this the most retarded thing I have done? Feel free to post a comment or even a new post if you have an example of something you feel is a match for this.
Labby
As some of the older crew would remember I don't have a great track record with golf courses, namely golf buggies, after Jack Daniels and I had a head-on collision with two carts on the Coffs Harbour End of Season Trip. The golf club made an attempt to claim a $4000 bill from the club and were told to fuck off if I remember correctly.
Sunday I found myself attending a company golf tournament and unfortunately I am now 0/2 at keeping a golf buggy in one piece. If only that was the worst of it.
Paired with my girlfriend and my boss (none of us the designated driver) par for the course was set at a drink a hole and we kept pace until we finished the front 9. At this point Ally and I decided to introduce hash into the equation. Within a few holes I had fallen out of the buggy for no reason while negotiating a simple U-turn, had the cart on two wheels with my boss beside me and then finally launched my boss out of the cart when he tried to hang on to the side.
All fun and games.
On to the 17th hole and after a bit of socialising with another group and the girlfriend falling off in another low speed U-turn incident I was booting the cart along the tar track to catch up with the boss when I rounded a sharp corner, beer in hand, and went flying out the side of the cart, hit the tar then rolled several metres along the glass, ripping my elbow open in the process.
With no driver the cart continued its turn straight into a fence pole which launched my girlfriend through the front of the cart and face first on to the tar. My boss managed to bend the cart back into shape before I drove it to the carpark and switched it for the car to drive to a hospital completely hammered with a bleeding girlfriend. My girlfriend was not as easily bent back into shape.
She came out of it with stitches in her very black eye, stitches in her lip, road rash on her face, arm and legs and a whole bunch of bruises. Let us say I am not in the good books with her or her parents.
Myself, I came away with stitches in a gouge to my elbow that came close to a nerve, a course of antibiotics, an $800 hospital bill, shortened rugby season and a girlfriend not all that happy that I came out of it better than her.
Obviously at this point in time I feel this is the most retarded/amusing effort I have produced to date. There was also the time I fell out of a tree drunk and ended up with a tree stake in my throat, or when I put my head through a shop window and almost had it chopped off...
But I would like to hear from the PDC. Is this the most retarded thing I have done? Feel free to post a comment or even a new post if you have an example of something you feel is a match for this.
Labby
posted by Anonymous | 9:34 AM
5 Comments:
Thats the best excuse I've ever heard for your boss walking in on you and your mrs sharing in some pretty heavy domestic violence LabRat.
If she's still around after this event:
a) She is more insane than you; and
b) She is worthwhile hanging on to!
I think you've found 'the one' Labby.....
At first I thought that you had done something retarded Labby! It took me till almost the end of the post to realise that the act of sheer stupidity you were refering to, was in fact, on the part of your girlfriend who is mentally defecient enough to go out with you!
.
ps give your best mate
"The O-Dogg-miester" a big
"YO what the fuck up in the crib onna west-side o downtown mutha fucka! WORD!!" from all of us here
(he'll understand)
word my homey-niggaz.....
Its damn impressive labby but i'm sure you can do better. You've reached base camp. It's now time to scale Everest.
Lookin forward with anticipation.
Smackdog.
Under the current themes I feel it appropriate to revert back to smackdog. However I don't believe I am pimp enough yet to be Smackdawg.
Keep the peace and represent the establishment of the new world order muthherfuckerz
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BEER??????
For fuck sake Labby, you can't just start a story that includes the mention of beer in hand just before a major accident and not put all listeners at ease by confirming that the beer came through intact!!!!
Labrat, you are my hero. how the fuck are you still alive?
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