Weapon of Choice

What the hell is going on in this world???

After losing the super 14 final to the Crusaders (on a night so foggy that i couldn't help but think "Gorrillas in the mist" would have been a more appropriate title), the Hurricanes decided to drown their sorrows at the Jolly Poacher in Christchurch.

Some time during the course of the night 106kg loose forward Chris Masoe tripped over the foot of another patron. Being the caring, sensitive, new age type of metrosexual that comes naturally to all Samoans he promptly got up and belted the bloke.

Seeing this, current Hurricanes and former All-Blacks captian Tana Umaga decided to intervene, worried as he was about the image of rugby players when on the piss, and not wanting anything embarassing appearing in the next days papers.

Taking Masoe aside Umaga demonstrated his displeasure to the recalcitrant youngster in the time honoured tradition, by grabbing the nearest handbag and beating him repeatedly with it.

Being a hard man of rugby with a fight to the death attitude, Masoe did what anyone faced with hand bag weilding former All-Black captain would do - Burst into tears and cry like a fucking girl.

Can somone please tell me what planet i've just landed on??? Normally when you hear any sentence with footballers, handbags and crying in it, the words Bulldogs and police investigation also appear.
There are some serious questions that need to be answered :
When did crying become part of rugby? And why isn't it punishable with a life ban? what is it with backs and handbags? And why doesn't it surprise me? Is this the lowest moment in rugby? Is this the future of the game? What the hell is this lump on my testicles?


The handbag and the (now broken) phone contained in it was recently auctioned off for a staggering $22,750 and will probably be displayed in the All-Blacks museum right next to Richard Loe's eyeball collection. The Jolly Poacher is now known to everyone as "The Roxy"