The conspiracy report - part 1

As you all know, I heavily subscribe to the conspiracy theory and folks, let me let you in on a little secret: Australians are dumb. Stupid. Ignorant. Bigoted. For years the sheep have been selectively breeding us into a race of gormless cretins. David Oldfield is their Anakin Skywalker. I should point out that I'm not saying every occupant of this scorched rock is stupid. There are rare flashes of brilliance like Darryl Somers, but sadly they don't make good press. If it's counter-intuitive the masses will flush it like a bad case of post-curry diarrhoea. What I AM talking about is the faceless masses so busy with leading their pointless little lives that they don't have time to think. Ever. About ANYTHING.

Now before you startprotestin, let me explain….

Is it coincidence that the earth quake that rocked the small town Beaconsfield, Tasmania happened exactly 35 seconds after the cheese eating surrender monkeys (Le French) let a test nuke off its leash in the upper Tasman Sea? This test was never reported by the so called authorities because the walking eyebrow encrusted wart and his tea lady Howard and Downer couldn’t negotiate the cease of Nuke testing in our backyard.

So, the earthquake hits and those below 1km are lost. This is a real tragedy and will not be played down in this forum.

Now, lets back track a little….

The year – 1997. The place Thredbo.

A massive mudslide takes out a large portion of residential property. Many people lost their lives that night. The nation camped out the front of retravision stores all over the country (no one could afford television sets, nor the electricity to run them) glued to the TV in a state of shock. The liberal party having just been elected required a spin to take the heat off their about to be delivered budget, so they find, rummaging through someones garbage, an out of work ski instructor, plant him amongst the rubble and claim to have found a survivor. The nation cheers, the budget is delivered un-opposed.

The year – 2005. The place Iraq

The Liberal government have been under massive pressure to justify their existence in Iraq. The coalition of the greedy have lied their way into the middle east in an attempt to secure large swallow of the Arabs crude. Knowing that the popularity of the government has fallen since a number of children went for a dip off an illegal fishing boat, and that there was a real opportunity to increase the price of petrol at home, they sent for the doctors of spin to once again save their bacon. Enter that sad (God Bless America!!) sack of shit, child molesting Douglas Woods. Anyone that has spent time being interrogated by the axis of evil is not coming out the other end 125 kilos and with all of their digits intact.

So here we are on the eve of another budget. Petrol prices at an all time high and interest rates on the move. Coincidence that we have ourselves another feel good moment? I think not. Plants my friends, plants… Government stooges looking for the quick buck supported by a town that knows the truth but see an opportunity be put on the map thus increasing the land value, before the whole town is swallowed by mine subsidence.

It all makes sense when you say it out loud.........