Hicks Bound for Lappo

Millions across the globe this morning were woken to the shocking news that David Hicks has scammed himself a 'get out of jail free card' with a newly acquired British passport. Thousands more in the lower mountains were even more disturbed at the uncanny similarity in his appearance to that of our very own globetrotting monster Mr Nicky Napalm. Here we can see 'Mr Hicks' celebrating this morning alongside his lawyer Paris Hotman Hutepea following his 'escape' from Guantanamo. Rumour has it, he is headed direct for Australia to unleash a wrath of terror on not only our country, but our beloved fortress, the New Lapstone Hotel. Beware this weekend of this absolute pestaphile!!!