Skanks We Love - Part 3

Part 3 - Lara Bingle

No firstly you may say, "What the fuck??". But after scientific analysis, this specimen has displayed a number of traits which link her directly to the Skank species.

I think when this specimen first appeared on our idiot boxes, walking out of the ocean and saying, "So where the bloody hell are you?" every man had to create a bit of room and adjust their Reg Grundy's.
If you didn't, one word.....fag.

What a top little thing she is. Whilst in my laboratory, I figured there is no point even researching this specimen because how could she be in any way linked to the Skank species. WRONG!

Over the proceeding weeks, with the bullshit ruckus of the poms whinging that 'Bloody' was offensive (their geezer teeth are offensive but we still seem to let this pompus fucks into the country) and then with claims she was going to sue Zoo Magazine for an alleged 'topless' shot, I decided I may conduct some preliminary research and see what I can uncover.

Well, the results are in.

Topless Shots
Firstly the media should be shot with balls of their own shit. OK, she was NOT wearing a top, but when you say topless, you instantly think, TITS ON SCREEN. Not a chance, more tit is seen hanging out of a J-Lo dress then there was in the whole write up. And she was going to sue!!! Well, here lies a trait of the infamous Skank, fucking hypocrite. This specimen of a skank was going to sue Zoo Magazine for some bullshit photograph that she done before she no doubt become the 'Bloody' girl. Probably got fuck all cash and some photograph or publisher got a shot away. Yet on a website for Italian lingerie, this Skank poses showing more skin and more tit though in initial reports she claims she never posed topless before. Sit down Skank, I give you two years and you will have not only shown your tits in a magazine, your home sex movie will be making regular features on this blog site.

SMS Sex
A note to all rugby league players, the brain is that grey mass that is behind your eyes, along side your ears and fills the cavity within your skull, use the fucking thing. Part of creating the Skanks article is to identify traits of the Skank Species do men do not fall into their vicious traps. Take the case of Cronulla player, Greg Bird. Bingle claims that they met only once. BUT since then she has received a number of messages which she would only describe as, "They were just really, really crude messages". Bird, replies by saying there was nothing harassing in the message and that perhaps a mysterious 'third party' sent the messages....FIRE UP!!

Firstly, it is obviously this specimen of a skank was as toey as fuck and no doubt flaunting her tight little package everywhere. No doubt this skank sprayed her scent on young Bird and handed over her number that night and no doubt whispered sweet nothings but then when it came time to deliver, she carries on and goes to the press proving, 1. This Skank loves publicity and relies on being heavenly angel and 2. Unless it involves a football Rugby League players will never fucking learn.

A1 Motorist
What also appears to be a common trait amongst Skanks is their ability to take the simple act of driving and completely fuck it up. Last month, this specimen proved just that. Whilst behind the wheel, this specimen, no doubt so vain that she thinks the mirrors are to used to look at herself, was involved in a "minor accident" where she suffered whiplash and some burns from her seat belt. Oh, did I mention that she ran into a parked car!!! FFS.

So there you have it kids, in short DON'T BE DECEIVED. Here is proof that skanks can have the ability to come across as wholesome, little girl next doors. But in the words of a friend of mine, "She has the I'm the girl next door, come fuck me in the ass look"!!

So here's to you Lara. Well done on being a deceiving, cunning little skank.