New Links

Gentlemen you may have noticed that i have updated the links, but i strongly suggest that when looking at the "rate my" sites that you take the time to check out the "best of" or the "top twenty" in each category as it is well worth it

Virtual Girlfriend

Whilst having a bit of a browse searching for something to have a spray about, I come across this.

http://rock1053.com/pages/virtualgirlfriend/virtualgirlfriend.html

She is a bit shy but it kills a couple of minutes. If only all women acted without question on one word commands!!

Ford vs Holden

Ford v Holden peace talks stall in first round

Hopes were dashed last night when the first round of the Ford v Holden peace talks ended without any commitment to future actions. Organizers were confident that the talks could heal the rift in the petrol-head community caused by this decades old conflict, but once again the result was little more than infighting, recalcitrance and drunken punch-ups in the car park.The talks began promisingly.

Spokesmen from both sides delivered a joint statement that no fat chicks would be present during the discussion, and that all parties shared a firm belief that eatin’ was cheatin’. But the constructive atmosphere of the morning soon gave way to bitter acrimony.

No progress was made on agreeing that both marques were superior to Jap crap. A proposed plan to give custody of Mount Panorama to God also became bogged down. By the time the Holden Bridgestone Precision Driving Team pulled out of their scheduled evening performance citing security concerns, the talks were in tatters.“We were modest in our aims,” said GM Motors Holden chief negotiator Shane Warrenburn, visibly exhausted after a tough night of negotiations and “getting on the piss”. “We don’t expect them to start driving an HSV. But their position was immovable. They wouldn’t even make an in-principle commitment to stop calling Skafie a poof.”

Ford spokesmen are dismissive of claims that they were not willing to compromise, saying that they found a “hostile atmosphere” at negotiating table. “We expected to find an willing partner in the peace process,” said Ford official Jim “Nugget” Cooper. “Instead we found an hostile atmosphere in which our position was mocked quite openly. Ford does not stand for “Found on Rubbish Dumps.”Holden rejects claims that offensive jokes were made, saying that none of their party ever said Ford stood for “Found on Rubbish Dumps.” “These allegations are without foundation,” said Warrenburn. “Besides, it stands for ‘F**ked on Race Day’”.“Holden” added Warrenburn.“Ford” replied Cooper.

Diplomats hope that the VB v Tooheys peace talks scheduled for July 2007 will be more successful.

Paris Hilton - The Game

COMING TO A STORE NEAR YOU!!

Skanks We Love - Part 2

Part 2 - Jana Pittman

In the words of Mark 'Chopper' Reed, "Whinge, whinge, fucking whinge"

This specimen of the Skank may possibly have the name, Attentionous Seakingus Skankius.

Now Aussies love their sport and they love a sporting hero. In the wake of Cathy 'I can eat an apple through a tennis racket' Freeman's retirement in 2003, Australia turned to our next best thing, Jana Pittman.

Instead of embracing her newfound status, this horse-headed skank just carries on and instead of being the Queen of Aussie Sport, she is just one big Drama Queen. Christ woman, just shut up and run.

Now medals aside (that is why we love her), this Specimen has continually proves she is by far one of the biggest whining, attention seeking Skanks of Sport.

* The Knee Saga
Honestly this whole fiasco was about as exciting as banging your cock with a hammer. The media made out Jana to be our only hope at Athens and it was well on its way to being nominated at the Logies for Best Drama. But Aussies being Aussies, we stood by 'our golden girl' who after surgery walks out of the hospital and throws her crutches away like she was just healed by some two bit Hillsong TV evangelist. Well so much for miracles Skank cause it did you no good. You come fifth.

* The Cat Scratch
Tamsyn Lewis, another more attractive Skank, made a comment about big mouth Jana claiming there was no competition at the Games Trail this year. Lewis won. For the next few weeks we were once again faced with Jana saying that she was being hard done by. For fuck sake, typical Skank behaviour. Can give shit but can never take it. Get over it!!

* Queens Baton Relay
Injury?? Bullshit. This was simply a reaction to the above mentioned. Running a baton in hand for half a kilometre, and it was the final leg at that! Many take this as being a very prestigious honour. Not our Queen Jana. No, this Skank instead turns her nose up at it and claims that she is a little injured. Typical Skank behaviour, always 'look at me'.

* Bon Voyage' Australia.
If there is one thing that is just typical of a Skank, is that if they don't get what they want, they carry on more. This specimen did just that. Instead of just shutting up, she whined more and said that she was going to leave Australia. After all that Australia has given her, just because of a silly little tiff that should have been sorted out in an inflatable pool with jelly, she says this. Two Words Sweetheart....and they are not "Don't Go".

* Commonwealth Gold
Just to cap it off, our Queen wins Gold. Aussies being Aussies will always embrace that and well done to our Skank for doing so well (Tamsyn, you still beat her in so many other ways).

But what was not seen was the fact that Jana won gold twice. The second was for being able to dribble the most shit in a 14 day period. Our skank become the clear winner with this comment after the race, "I tried really hard to stay 'low profile' but I know I'm a misunderstood person and I really hope that by doing this on the track I can turn that around,". Sweetness, that was about as discreet as dropping a bomb on a capital city.

"LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME"

Misunderstood?? I don't think so, we know exactly what you want, and here it is you whining bitch, you have been recognised. Congratulations, you are a Skank We Love.

Fairytale

And now for the slightly longer sequel.

And the man didn’t have to lie when asked “is my ass fat?’ and he watched lesbian porn whenever he felt like it and didn’t make the bed if he didn’t want to and went to the pub whenever he felt like it and got fucken blind and then went to the club till sunrise if he felt like it and didn’t pick his shoes up off the floor and his credit card always stayed within manageable limits and he didn’t have to remember pointless fucken anniversaries and didn’t have to tolerate a mother-in-law and could whack out his cock in his own home whenever he felt like it and went to the footy whenever he felt like it and sat on the toilet with the door open and read the paper whenever he liked and bet as much of his money as he wanted and could play cards till the sun came up if he so desired and snore as long and loud as he possibly could and blatantly perve on chicks and bet up big at the casino and he could go to strip shows and tuck dollars into skimpy g-strings and get a private show if he felt like it and he could get a massage with a happy ending and he went to car shows instead of fucken curtain shopping and he watched tops fucken movies not fucken Notting Hill etc. and he said shit cunt motherfucker bitch pussy slut cunt fuck snot as loud and as often as he wanted too and he ate 7 course meals (a pie and a 6-pack) whenever he felt like it and got fucken blind and he never listened to 2-Day fm, chick music or boy bands and he always went on boys nights, bucks weekends and end of season trips and………….
………and as the man contentedly lay on his deathbed at 39 years of age he came to fully realise and appreciate how lucky he had been. He also knew he wouldn’t have changed a thing. And then out of the blue appeared the most beautiful, sexy and naked woman in all of God’s creation and she gave the man the kiss of life. And then they had the dirtiest time imaginable. And the man asked ‘Will you marry me?’……and the cycle started again.

Now isn’t that the best fairy tale you have ever heard ???

Mr Kebab

Upon news that Strunky was after his world record kebab eating feats of Indy 04, JD began eating anything in the vain hope it was a sweet, sweet tasting kebab

FFS - Part 2... ROSS, IS THAT YOU?

Jesus Fucking Christ on a bicycle!

In a parallel universe I think we have discovered Ross Mk ll. Let it serve as proof that there could be more out there.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Is this the biggest goose in world sport?

This ass clown has proceeded to make a complete dick of himself over the past few weeks by continuously sledging some of the game's greats whilst on the receiving end of yet another collosal shallacking by the Australian cricket team in South Africa. This week's moronic actions speak volumes for Andre Nel's brain capacity where after narrowly dodging a Brett Lee 159km/h thunderbolt, he decided it would be a courageous act to march down the pitch dribbling allsorts of obscenities as soon as Lee had turned his back to return to his bowling mark. Tough and stupid stuff. Next ball, Lee gave him one more dose of chin music narrowly missing this dickhead's noggin again which would be still flying through outer space if it had connected, before finally putting this goose out of his misery cleaning him up with his next delivery.

To make matters worse, whilst bowling the next day, he welcomed the most dangerous batsman in world cricket, Adam Gilchrist, to the crease with another torrent of verbal diahorrea, to which Gilly replied with 5 fours off one Nel over. You think this would have shut Nel up and put him back in his box, but NOOOOO, not for our ridiculously dense South African 'fast' bowler who still wouldn't shut the fuck up after being once again embarrassed in front of his weak home crowd.

Well guess what Andre, the Aussies who yes, may be arrogant at times, but at least who have the skill to match their mouths, are at an unbeatable 2 nil lead going into the 3rd and final test which will hopefully be your last in the Test arena before you are returned to the obscurity that is South African domestic cricket for the rest of your hopleless, flailing career.

As George Gregan so famously quoted in the epic semi final win over NZ in the last World Cup: "See you in 4 long years" you keffer morons, and for you Andre, enjoy watching this series from the comfort of your own home, as you will be long forgotten by the time you meet us again in 2010 you dick!

FFS - Part 1

'Mum, I'd like you to meet Brian. We are engaged...'

FOR FUCKS SAKE!

I can not believe what some people get up to when left to their own devices. Can you imagine the time and money spent, the pain endured to come up with this result ???

Each to their own but this is clearly abusing the privelege. You sir, should've been culled at birth and spared everyone the pain.

Quick Quiz

PDC Quiz

1. do you think the PDC is distributing enough quality material

a. what the fuck is a PDC

b. no, its all shit

c. well its value for money

d. yes, its pretty damn good

e. hell yes, ive already gone blind

Take this poll !

View this poll's results !

Cranking Costner

In looking through the Daily Telegraph today I found this crap....

ACTOR Kevin Costner has been forced to deny he engaged in sexual self-gratification in front of a horrified masseuse at an elite Scottish golf resort.
The masseuse, who is suing the Old Course Hotel, at St Andrews, for unfair dismissal, claims the Hollywood star performed a "disgusting" sex act in front of her while he was honeymooning there in 2004.

She says Costner dropped his towel after asking her if she would "touch him everywhere".

The 34-year-old masseuse, who alleges unfair dismissal and sexual discrimination, gave Costner two massages.

She told a tribunal that on the first occasion, the actor touched her on the back "in a blatant move" and told her he smoked cannabis because "it made him more creative".

The next day, "He asked me if I was comfortable touching him everywhere, and I said 'No'.

"Throughout the massage, he kept putting his hand under his towel, but never kept it there long enough for me to suspect anything."

The woman told the tribunal that as she moved to massage Costner's head, he grabbed her arm and whipped off his towel, exposing himself and performing a lewd act.

"I threw tissues at him and stormed out of the room. It was disgusting," she said.

"Even though he's a Hollywood star, I can't believe he thought he could get away with it. He abused me, and I consider that a criminal act."

The masseuse told the tribunal she had been traumatised by the incident.

F**k me!! Old Kev thought he was in Bangkok. Nothing he was only knocking the top off it, cause he wanted some longevity when he next tapped his bride.

Anyways, do you really need that big of an excuse love to sue Kevin Costner. Wasn't sitting down and watching 181 mintues of Dances with Wolves followed by 177 of Postman traumatising enough to claim damages!!

Female Madness

FEMALE MADNESS

I wise man once said: "If women didn't have cunts, you'd throw rocks at them." Truly wise words.

Having experienced female madness ranging from simple unexplainable emotional outbursts to having stared into the eyes of true madness by a slut that broke a window at my place trying to regain entry to my mate's bedroom after he had thrown her out the door, my eyes have been open to a universal truth: all women are crazy. This is an undeniable fact as much as that we all have DNA, the sun comes up in the east and St George are chokers and need to be banned from Grand Finals for the good of the comp.

Examples:

Spontaneous crying when "nothing is wrong."

Refusing to tell a man what present they would like and being upset with the result.

Blowing strangers in bathrooms and then apologizing and saying I love you.

Fucking a guy, throwing him out at 3am because of an inappropriate comment and then asking him to sleep with you again.

Crying if boyfriend goes out drinking, but going out with own sluts is okay.

Letting boyfriend go drinking then turning up at pub.

Fat chicks offering drunk guy a ride then kidnapping him back home and being surprised when goes to the toilet and never comes back.

There are two remaining options.

1. Gayness: I'll leave that to Hilldog.

2. Being single: Porn, wanking, hanging out with mates, drinking as much as you want...

While option 2 has all the benfits and seemingly few cons there is an unfortunate male gene that causes us to pursue relationships despite the knowledge of the madness that awaits.

With this defective gene causing men to blindly embrace madness this leaves us with two options:

1. Punt a girl everytime the first signs of madness appear.

2. Search for woman with manageable madness and deal with it. (Calling them on their madness from the start can be an excellent management technique).

With the PDC numbers increasingly taking the plunge into marriage I felt this public service announcement would help anyone who has always felt this fact within but had their eyes opened to the Matrix.

Inspired by the Skanks series I will produce a series on female madness.

Lab

Skanks We Love - Part 1

Part 1 - Paris Hilton

There is absolutely no need for any form of drum roll here...

This specimen of a Skank is probably the Queen of Skanks.

Paris, heiress to one of the biggest hotel chains in the world, is gifted in that she has f**ked more guys then she has dollars, can act like an absolute Skank no matter the occasion, yet get picked up by corporate companies all over the world to promote their product. Poor ol' blokes, send one text message and they loose $$$ contracts. WTF!!

This Skank's curriculum vitae is far to big to post, so here is some highlights:


* Showed the world that night vision on a video camera can be used for more things then just watching animals at night in the wild.

* Was in a porn video seen by more people then debut movie 'House of Wax' by about 300 million viewers worldwide.

* Brings out a Perfume called 'Scent' (refer to Background Post)

* Proved that cumbuckets can hold up to 44 gallons

To close, I wanted to look for a quote from Paris but she has said nothing intelligent. So I take a part of the transcript from 'One Night in Paris' saying,
RS: Ohhh. Your pussy.
PH (looking at camera): Hi.
RS: What do you say? I can see it. Come here. Uhhhh.
PH: I don't wanna do it this way.
RS: How do you wanna do it?
PH: This way.
RS: You're not gonna be able to see it good from there.
PH: Yeah I can.


Instead I found this quote from a website that pretty well sums up our Queen of Skanks, "Dipshit socialite who recklessly rode her family's wealth and ex-boyfriend's dick to the top of the American disgrace that is the reality television food chain."

So congratulations Paris. You are a Skank We Love.

Skanks We Love - Introduction

As my first post, I thought it is appropriate that I pay homage to the Skank.

So to start I thought a definition would be best, from sum1 more edamucated den me wit me fwont rowa brain.

So www.google.com, skank meaning definition ENTER.

This is from the first hit.
"Skank or skanky is a slang term, and is an adjective or noun referring to one who is undesirable as a result of unacceptable behaviour. Most often this behaviour relates to drug use, sexual practices, and/or personal hygiene and style......Prostitutes are often associated with the term though in reference to a usually non-whoring person......"Skanking" originally referred to menstruation......to describe a particular kind of female behaviour, characterized by wanton selfishness, repeated self-detrimental behaviour, flirting and sexual promiscuity.

Well, that pretty well sums it up!

Other traits though I have seen in my frequent observations of specimens of this exquisite creature are:

* Enjoys being the centre of attention and spraying her scent on all males that could, in any way whatsoever, provide her with some form of advantage (in a nutshell a free night on the piss or $$$)

* Dresses the part making sure not much, if anything, is left to the imagination.

* Usually is linked with some form of substance abuse.

There are also variables, the most significant ones being:

* The Skank is usually a good sort, and if she isn't, 4 beers, 3 bourbons, a bottle of bitch piss and a scull of Virgin Bus Trip Port, will ensure that she is right for the taking.

* Skank latches onto you and you proceed to spend a small fortune on bitch piss for her then hit her up only to be met with, "My friend has had an argument with her boyfriend and I have to look after her"......OR.....Skank latches on to you, near jumps you immediately on the pool table followed by entertaining you (and your mates) by grinding some other chick on the dancefloor followed by taking her home and creating PDC Volume 4!!

As time goes by, Skanks We Love will weave through the glorious web to find those who are considered Diva's as well as those, for whatever reason, deserve their 5 minutes.

So here's cheers to the Skank and all of her bits!!

PDC Volume 3

Gentlemen,

F*** the XBox 360. PDC Volume 3 will be released this Saturday at 12.00pm. Usual distribution rules will apply.

Happy viewing

PDC Lost episode #1

Well Fellas,
I finally worked this f-ing site out and here's my intitial post

And the subject leads you there........so we thought the PDC DVDs were lost??? think again

we have them safe and sound direct from the Mens Gallery Coatroom thanks to some fine legwork by none other than C-Diddy....Mr Cashman
10.....billion points for effort indeed!!!

And my post question is..............who else has seenor heard of a heroic effort for the cause such as this ???? Do tell

YEEAAAAHHHH !!!!!!!!

Well I'll be Damned......

Husband charged over wife's murder
The Daily Telegraph
March 02, 20

“Galante was the last person known to have seen Mrs Galante alive – when he dropped her off near Parklea Markets in Sydney on January 7…………. Her badly decomposed body was found dumped in bushland on the Pattersons Ridge fire trail in Wollemi National Park near Bilpin, west of Sydney, on Saturday, January 14, but not before Galante had made an impassioned plea to media for his wife to come home. ………..……Galante wept as he appealed for anyone with information about his wife's murder to come forward……………..A post-mortem examination showed Mrs Galante died from gunshot wounds to the head. She was three months pregnant when she was murdered and was already the mother of daughter Zayla, 3.”

Did this cunt seriously think he was fooling anyone? Did anyone seriously think Marky boy didn’t do it when they first saw him on T.V? Wake up stupid, many smarter and less obvious looking morons than you HAVEN’T gotten away with murder.

So corkhead, consider yourself sprayed…..with cat piss to the face!

testing 1..2..3

And to the victor go the spoils!! Byron Bay 7's. In what appeared to be a pre-game ritual, who could forget the humorous wedgie game between Deevs and PAWD. It was definitely hard fought but Devine held up the spoils. (I thought Pawd won, but I am hazy on many aspects of Byron and here it seems is the proof). You didn't have to sniff them Greg. At least more than once anyway.

Beautiful and intelligent

Someone find me the phone number for these bitches !! Not only do they seem intelligent, but they obviously want me to give them a thorough reaming in every orifice!! The irony of this is that those homo's at barker would look at this picture, and wish it was blokes arses so the statement could come true.

Dumb and Dumber

A picture may say a thousand words, but in the case of these two sheltered workshop rejects, it actually makes them look more intelligent.

Arse-clown of the week

Since this arse clown was talking himself up on the weekend i feel it is time to remind him that this photo proves beyond any doubt, that not only is he a choc-dipping tail gunner, but he goes for blokes that make Elton John look straight !!!

brokeback squadron

check out this rip off of brokeback mountain and top gun. although since top gun is about the navy it may come as no surprise
Top Gun 2 - Brokeback Squadron

Cranky Penguin

How could we possibly have a blog and not feature the one and only CrankyPenguin !

Lick the Bag Bitch!

After being belted by the women's rugby team on the dancefloor of The Northern, dressed as a bumblebee on game day, and dragging 'Wilson the Potplant' home from the nightclub Friday night, The Turtle needed just one more incident to claim 2005's Byron Bay Tour Pisshead's Pisshead Award. Headbutting the ceiling fan at full pelt not once, not twice, but 6 fucking times sealed the deal for young Brownlee!

welcome to the spray

welcome to the spray, were only just getting up and running so bear with us. hopefully when its in full swing pdc members will be able to make subbos and comments

God help us all