Female Madness

FEMALE MADNESS

I wise man once said: "If women didn't have cunts, you'd throw rocks at them." Truly wise words.

Having experienced female madness ranging from simple unexplainable emotional outbursts to having stared into the eyes of true madness by a slut that broke a window at my place trying to regain entry to my mate's bedroom after he had thrown her out the door, my eyes have been open to a universal truth: all women are crazy. This is an undeniable fact as much as that we all have DNA, the sun comes up in the east and St George are chokers and need to be banned from Grand Finals for the good of the comp.

Examples:

Spontaneous crying when "nothing is wrong."

Refusing to tell a man what present they would like and being upset with the result.

Blowing strangers in bathrooms and then apologizing and saying I love you.

Fucking a guy, throwing him out at 3am because of an inappropriate comment and then asking him to sleep with you again.

Crying if boyfriend goes out drinking, but going out with own sluts is okay.

Letting boyfriend go drinking then turning up at pub.

Fat chicks offering drunk guy a ride then kidnapping him back home and being surprised when goes to the toilet and never comes back.

There are two remaining options.

1. Gayness: I'll leave that to Hilldog.

2. Being single: Porn, wanking, hanging out with mates, drinking as much as you want...

While option 2 has all the benfits and seemingly few cons there is an unfortunate male gene that causes us to pursue relationships despite the knowledge of the madness that awaits.

With this defective gene causing men to blindly embrace madness this leaves us with two options:

1. Punt a girl everytime the first signs of madness appear.

2. Search for woman with manageable madness and deal with it. (Calling them on their madness from the start can be an excellent management technique).

With the PDC numbers increasingly taking the plunge into marriage I felt this public service announcement would help anyone who has always felt this fact within but had their eyes opened to the Matrix.

Inspired by the Skanks series I will produce a series on female madness.

Lab