Fairytale

And now for the slightly longer sequel.

And the man didn’t have to lie when asked “is my ass fat?’ and he watched lesbian porn whenever he felt like it and didn’t make the bed if he didn’t want to and went to the pub whenever he felt like it and got fucken blind and then went to the club till sunrise if he felt like it and didn’t pick his shoes up off the floor and his credit card always stayed within manageable limits and he didn’t have to remember pointless fucken anniversaries and didn’t have to tolerate a mother-in-law and could whack out his cock in his own home whenever he felt like it and went to the footy whenever he felt like it and sat on the toilet with the door open and read the paper whenever he liked and bet as much of his money as he wanted and could play cards till the sun came up if he so desired and snore as long and loud as he possibly could and blatantly perve on chicks and bet up big at the casino and he could go to strip shows and tuck dollars into skimpy g-strings and get a private show if he felt like it and he could get a massage with a happy ending and he went to car shows instead of fucken curtain shopping and he watched tops fucken movies not fucken Notting Hill etc. and he said shit cunt motherfucker bitch pussy slut cunt fuck snot as loud and as often as he wanted too and he ate 7 course meals (a pie and a 6-pack) whenever he felt like it and got fucken blind and he never listened to 2-Day fm, chick music or boy bands and he always went on boys nights, bucks weekends and end of season trips and………….
………and as the man contentedly lay on his deathbed at 39 years of age he came to fully realise and appreciate how lucky he had been. He also knew he wouldn’t have changed a thing. And then out of the blue appeared the most beautiful, sexy and naked woman in all of God’s creation and she gave the man the kiss of life. And then they had the dirtiest time imaginable. And the man asked ‘Will you marry me?’……and the cycle started again.

Now isn’t that the best fairy tale you have ever heard ???