Skanks We Love - Part 2

Part 2 - Jana Pittman

In the words of Mark 'Chopper' Reed, "Whinge, whinge, fucking whinge"

This specimen of the Skank may possibly have the name, Attentionous Seakingus Skankius.

Now Aussies love their sport and they love a sporting hero. In the wake of Cathy 'I can eat an apple through a tennis racket' Freeman's retirement in 2003, Australia turned to our next best thing, Jana Pittman.

Instead of embracing her newfound status, this horse-headed skank just carries on and instead of being the Queen of Aussie Sport, she is just one big Drama Queen. Christ woman, just shut up and run.

Now medals aside (that is why we love her), this Specimen has continually proves she is by far one of the biggest whining, attention seeking Skanks of Sport.

* The Knee Saga
Honestly this whole fiasco was about as exciting as banging your cock with a hammer. The media made out Jana to be our only hope at Athens and it was well on its way to being nominated at the Logies for Best Drama. But Aussies being Aussies, we stood by 'our golden girl' who after surgery walks out of the hospital and throws her crutches away like she was just healed by some two bit Hillsong TV evangelist. Well so much for miracles Skank cause it did you no good. You come fifth.

* The Cat Scratch
Tamsyn Lewis, another more attractive Skank, made a comment about big mouth Jana claiming there was no competition at the Games Trail this year. Lewis won. For the next few weeks we were once again faced with Jana saying that she was being hard done by. For fuck sake, typical Skank behaviour. Can give shit but can never take it. Get over it!!

* Queens Baton Relay
Injury?? Bullshit. This was simply a reaction to the above mentioned. Running a baton in hand for half a kilometre, and it was the final leg at that! Many take this as being a very prestigious honour. Not our Queen Jana. No, this Skank instead turns her nose up at it and claims that she is a little injured. Typical Skank behaviour, always 'look at me'.

* Bon Voyage' Australia.
If there is one thing that is just typical of a Skank, is that if they don't get what they want, they carry on more. This specimen did just that. Instead of just shutting up, she whined more and said that she was going to leave Australia. After all that Australia has given her, just because of a silly little tiff that should have been sorted out in an inflatable pool with jelly, she says this. Two Words Sweetheart....and they are not "Don't Go".

* Commonwealth Gold
Just to cap it off, our Queen wins Gold. Aussies being Aussies will always embrace that and well done to our Skank for doing so well (Tamsyn, you still beat her in so many other ways).

But what was not seen was the fact that Jana won gold twice. The second was for being able to dribble the most shit in a 14 day period. Our skank become the clear winner with this comment after the race, "I tried really hard to stay 'low profile' but I know I'm a misunderstood person and I really hope that by doing this on the track I can turn that around,". Sweetness, that was about as discreet as dropping a bomb on a capital city.

"LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME"

Misunderstood?? I don't think so, we know exactly what you want, and here it is you whining bitch, you have been recognised. Congratulations, you are a Skank We Love.