BONDI RIOTS PART II

...two lebanese guys approach a large bearded, tattoed man, with a tooth missing, and ask him if they can have their friend back.

The friend in question is unconscious at the cross dressed man's feet.

"Just get him the fuck out of here"...

This is one of the foggy memories told at training the next week and I can think of no better reason for an ongoing relationship between the Blueys and the Canucks after what happened on our annual "Best Dressed" night several weeks ago.

The basics of this are to get dressed as chicks, drink ridiculous amounts of cheap booze and, for the singles, try to convince a woman to have sex with you while wearing a dress.

Things got a little more interesting with the mixture of Lebo's into the mix. Latched on to a hen's night a group of about 10 Lebbo's took a dislike to one of our young blokes pestering the women and another Canuck had to step in. Minutes later the peacemaker has been king hit on the dance floor and Curtis, the young bloke (Sunshine) and a couple of Lebbo's have been ejected from the nightclub.

Pytka, (far left) decides to pop outside and sees two Lebs hanging from Curtis' arms while he pounds another one and Sunshine being choked on the ground by two others. He knocks the first bloke out with a punch and then has to chase the other down the road to knock him senseless before coming back to help Curtis.

Quickly all the Lebbos had assembled, obviously sensing an outnumbered fight that they love so much, and things got tough for a few seconds until 15 or so big, ugly women pour out of the nightclub and smash the shit out of them and surprise, surprise without the advantage of numbers decide fighting is not such a good idea.

Much rum had been consumed but I retain a blurry memory of strolling down the road to see clusters of rugby players in drag whaling on hapless cunts until they fled or regrouped and found one bloke alone again. Pytka meanwhile looked like a kid in a candy shop, strolling down the road punching into whoever he could find left in the scrap.

Honourary Australian I say!

Meanwhile I got into a fight with an actual girl after I decided to stop her from kicking one of our guys in the head while down. While I was ducking swings and laughing at her, my ALbury mate Ben came over and added "leave him alone you dopey slut". She replied "You wanna fight me too?". "No I want you to fuck off you stupid slut".

Before this relocated Mount Druitt resident could attack again a Canuck girlfriend came out of the crowd, threw her to the ground by her hair and proceeded to kick the shit out of her ribs across the width of the road. My tough guy image is intact.

Labby

Joey joins comedian circuit post football

Joey busted for ecstasy
By Byron Kaye and Ian HorswillAugust 30, 2007

ANDREW Johns has been arrested for drug possession in London.
Johns, 33, was stopped by transport police officers at Kings Cross underground station during a routine search following the annual Notting Hill Carnival. The former Newcastle, New South Wales and Australia rugby league captain, who has been working with Australia ahead of the Rugby World Cup, was found to be in possession of one ecstasy tablet.
He was cautioned and released without charge.
"Following an interview with police he was told the misdemeanour did not warrant being charged and instead was given an official caution," John's management, The Fordham Company, said in a statement today.
"Johns said today he recalled an unknown person pushing a tablet into his jeans at a crowded entertainment venue last Sunday - ".......

That's generally what happens when you give money to drug dealers dummy.. or accept 'gifts'

...In the statement, Johns said: "I was having such a good time, seeing it was the last day before I flew home......

The colours were vivid and swirling man....and the chicks were reeaaalllyy friendly

..."I stupidly forget about the tablet and, instead of getting rid of it, I left myself in a situation I soon deeply regretted...

Lucky I ate the other 4. That last bastard must've got lost in my sky-rocket. Damn.

....."I have been a very foolish person and realise I have brought great disappointment to my family, friends and many people, including lots of youngsters who have looked up to me over the years...."It has left a black mark on my reputation which I will work very hard at erasing."......

Is that E-rasing?

...Johns, who is is believed to have been at The Church, an all-day club at Kentish Town popular with expatriates, was one of 206 people arrested for drugs possession in London over the British holiday weekend.....

Al least I go to church. In fact I better go back and repent Bro!

.....Johns had been in London for a few weeks and had accepted an invitation by former Newcastle player Billy Peden player to pass on his tactical and kicking knowledge at the Harlequins Rugby League Club
He and injured Brisbane, Queensland and Australia captain Darren Lockyer were guests at the Challenge Cup final between St Helens and Catalans at Wembley Stadium the day before his arrest.
- with AAP

Joey, Joey, Joey. Stop it! My sides are killing me! Whos kidding who? You're just making it worse. Just accept you got busted and move on dude!A proffessional sportsman and celebrity taking recreational drugs? Unbelievable. Who would have thunk it!

Darren Lockyer - Drug Cheat

Overnight it was reported that Joey Johns was caught with an ecstasy pill in England. The day before Joey was arrested he was watching the Challenge Cup Final with Darren Lockyer. This looks innocent enough....doesn't it ????

No it doesn't !!!!

One Wendell Sailor tested positive to cocaine almost two years ago whilst playing for the NSW Waratah's. The funny thing is that big Dell was partying with the Lockyer the night he supposedly took the coke. Coincidence ??? I think not !!

Ill bet the house on Lockyer being involved in both circumstances. He was probably the person who put the cracker in Joey's pocket trying to tarnish his reputation, because he knows he will never be as good as Joey was !!

Im onto you Lockyer...

Miss Retarded USA

Listen to the question, then see if you can work out what the fuck this bitch is on about?



I'd still hit it though!

Toughen Up Horses

What is it with this fucking Equine Flu??! The horses don't even die from it. There's people like Sonny Bill and KevJohn going apeshit in padded cells at home due to their being no races on at the moment, all because these so called beasts having a runny nose!

Toughen the fuck up and get back out on the track you soft animals!!

p.s. This probably explains the reason I came home with a reasonable amount of cash left in my wallet Saturday night....

NRL Finals Series

I don't know where to begin here, but it's a series that needs Spraying, and desperately.

Any series that looks to have Souths featuring it, is an absolute disgrace to begin with. Reading this morning's papers, I simply cannot believe that teams like Brisbane, the Tigers and even til the weekend the Roosters, Titans and Canberra were still in with a shot of a finals berth! All these sides have been nothing short of disgusting this year. Penrith are two wins out of the 8 for fuck sake!! Its actually harder to miss out on the finals than it is to make them these days.

And once you make the finals, the first bunch of games are rendered usless anyway. There's no great incentive for 1st and 2nd to keep winning (although they do just about everytime with maybe the exception of the putrid Bulldogs who manage to lose every finals game they play against the Cowboys), but that first game (1 v 8) is always a disgrace and a waste of time for the 8th placed side and for anyone trying to claim this spot beforehand. Usually this unenviable position, that seriously resembles being on 'Death Row', belongs to Canberra who have amazed all time and time again, to avoid the wooden spoon, let alone make the 'finals' series. The McIntyre system really is fucked up in my opinion.

We need to get back to the Top 5 where EVERY game has meaning and is just about sudden death. 1st get a week off and just desserts for the minor premiership, and 2nd and 3rd get two bites at the cherry, which is also deserved. It takes at least 2 weeks to get to anything near the intensity of the matches produced under the Top 5 format of the Winfield Cup in years gone by, and as far as I'm concerned, this system can't return quick enough. The Top 8 was worth a gamble, but FFS, enough's anough with mediocre games being played by mediocre clubs who simply don't deserve to be playing finals footy.

FUCK IT OFF GALLOP!!!

Greeks

I came across this the other day...I thought it was interesting.

Why am I proud to be Greek

* Because we are European Champions in Soccer
* Because we are European Champions in Basketball
* Because we buy whole watermelons and not in slices
* Because we buy whole lambs and not in pieces
* Because when we buy feta we buy at least a kilo and not 150gr.
* Because we take our coffee slowly and not in 'shots"
* Because flirting is our national hobby
* Because we are world champions in sex
* Because we always moan about the public sector and everyone seeks to get a job in it
* Because we go out almost every night even if we are penniless
* Because we respect our Grandmothers more than our wives
* Because we know how to spend better than we know how to save
* Because we never visit others empty-handed
* Because there is no way to explain to foreigners what "kapsoura" is... (burning desire for someone)
* Because we do not share the cost of petrol with those we take in our cars
* Because we always make it, albeit in the last moment
* Because for the sake of a woman we would wage war for 10 years (Trojan war)
* Because we are everywhere around the planet
* Because we love and hate with passion
* Because the word "filotimo" (a synonym of honor, helping someone because it is the right thing to do) doesn't exist in any other language
* Because whenever foreigners cannot find a word, they bloody steal one of ours
* Because we spend our bad and low times with our friends and family, not with therapists and counsellors
* Because Socrates, Pluto, and Aristotle were Hellenic and we still quote from them
* Because we invented theatre
* Because we gave birth to Democracy
* Because we discovered logic
* Because we jumpstarted science
* Because we are proud of our culture, not of our wars
* Because Jesus Christ's best friends were Greeks
* Because when others were discovering meat, we already had cholesterol
* Because when we were building the Parthenon, the others were still sleeping under trees
* Because when others created wars, we created Games to stop wars
* Because we have a distinction between Eros (falling in love) & Agapi (innocent love), while we feel both passionately
* Because we get angry quickly but forget all about it even quicker
* Because we work to live and we do not live to work
* Because 97% of the stars' names are Hellenic
* Because we always talk about getting in a diet after we had our meal
* Because although we know danger well, we dare
* Because when you shout "brother" in the streets, everyone turns around
* Because we speak loudly and laugh even louder!!!
* Because when we were cooking with fire ,all the others were still living on trees”



Because ”Greeks do not fight like heroes, heroes fight like Greeks"
-Winston Churchill, 1941

Cinderella Men

Do I need to have a long hard look at myself? Why you ask? Because I think these two boozehounds are my heroes!

I may be starting to show my age just a little, but I'm pretty sure when I made the switch from league to union as a teenager, it was heavily based around the fact that Saturdays were a far better drinking night opposed to Sunday arvo/nights, and that union players were much better to drink with than the moronic league mungos.

Judging by the ridiculous curfew imposed on Waratahs come Wallabies come party animals Matt Dunning and Lote Tuqiri last week, am I wrong in thinking that the art of sharing a few beers and bullshit stories with your team mates after a game and/or training, that was once a pre-requisite to be accepted into a team from the game they play in heaven, is now dead and buried???

I fucking hope not!!

I believe/hope that the returned CEO of the ARU John O'Neill, being the closet plonko himself, has left our intrepid warriors a large enough window to get absolutely shitfaced on free French wine and be 'tucked up in bed', or should that be passed out in bed by the stroke of midnight, every night during the upcoming World Cup being held in France. By my calculations, you can still throw in a substantial amount of swill into your guts in the following 3 or 4 hours after a big win against Namibia or the All Blacks, and still enjoy a good night out with the boys on the other side of the globe during a World Cup of any sort. In fact you only have to be in your own local for that period of time, and still have a great night out regardless.

With this 'ban' imposed, we rugby fans can be more assured that our great game and the subsequent piss ups that go with it, are indeed in good hands......... I think

Bout time...bootylicious

Ninety-year-old father wants to have more kids

THE world's oldest new dad has fathered his 21st child at the age of 90 and says he plans to continue breeding for at least another decade.

Nanu Ram Jogi, a farmer in the Indian state of Rajasthan, cannot remember exactly how many children he has produced with his four wives, but estimates it at 12 sons, nine daughters and at least 20 grandchildren.

"Women love me," he boasted as dozens of relatives came to see his 14-day-old daughter, Girija Rajkumari.

"I can survive another few decades and want to have children till I am 100. Then maybe it will be time to stop." Mr Jogi married his first wife, Lalki, in 1942 when he was 25, the world was at war and India was still five years away from gaining independence from Britain. He fathered his eldest daughter, Sita Devi, a year later.

He married his second wife, Punni, when he was 50 and Rukman 20 years later. He married Saburi in 1997 when he was 80 and India's economic boom was beginning.

Saburi was previously married to his eldest son, Shiv Lal, who died 10 years ago. "At first I didn't want to stay here after my husband died," she said. "It was a bad time and I was going to go back to my family, but Nanu insisted. He promised to look after me and said he would take care of my family, so I stayed and now we have seven children."

So what's his secret? "I eat all kinds of meat: rabbits, lamb, chicken and wild animals," he said.

"I go hunting most days and eat whatever I catch. Lots of food is my secret to staying healthy. I will survive another few decades to take care of these kids!"

The Times

WOW....

Throwing it all away

Atlanta QB Michael Vick Indicted in Dogfight Probe
Prosecutors Say Vick and Three Others Trained, Raised and 'Executed' Pit Bulls

Atlanta Falcons star quarterback Michael Vick has been indicted by a federal grand jury for allegedly participating in a dog fighting ring.
The indictment filed in Richmond, Va., Tuesday afternoon, alleges Vick and three other defendants violated federal laws barring competitive dog fighting, and obtained and trained pit bulls for the purpose of fighting...
...Vick, along with co-defendants allegedly ran a dog fighting venture called Bad Newz Kennels on the property. It was there, investigators said, that they housed and trained pit bulls for dog fights, which were sometimes held on the property.
Dog owners reportedly brought their animals from the Carolinas, Maryland, New York, Texas, Alabama and other states to compete in the illegal matches. The owner of the winning dog would receive a cash prize. Those purses ranged from hundreds to thousands of dollars. Spectators and other dog owners were also allowed to bet on the fights.
But the dogs involved did not receive prize fighter treatment. Prosecutors alleged that the losing dogs were sometimes executed -- drowned, hanged, shot or electrocuted.
One female pit bull was entered into a match around March 2003. "The purse for the dog fight was established at approximately 13,000 [dollars] per side, for a total of approximately 26,000," the indictment stated.

ABC NEWS

What a friggin idiot. Not only is this a disgusting venture to be involved in, but this dumb SUMNA BITCH hardly needed the money. Mr Vick apparently has plead guilty, cut a deal and faces jail time. Not to mention losing his NFL contract in his prime and all the endosements etc that go with it. Was it worth it?

DICKHEAD.

Fucking Grubs!!

If today’s headlines of ‘Glory Glory’ aren’t enough to make you spew, then you aren’t a true rugby league supporter. For the last 18 years, the South Sydney Rabbitohs have been not only the laughing stock of the NRL, but all sport in general. Perennial wooden spooners (except for when Penrith decide they’d like to have a turn at it), since 1989 when they made their last their finals appearance (yes that’s 18 fucking years by my calculations!!), they scrape their way into the Top 8 and their scum supporters start revealing themselves from their holes like cicadas would after a decade underground. Only Souths supporters can outdo the Penriff supporters in the putricity levels to which the attached photo doesn’t do them justice at all. Lacking plenty of teeth and even more braincells, they also put cicadas to shame in the annoying sounds department. Fucking retards!

Apparently they have already “claimed their first finals spot in 18 years” according to news sources today. Again, by my dusty calculations, they haven’t made anything yet, and can still finish as low as 12th on the competition table. I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but c’mon you Tigers and Roosters, send these annoying locust-like creatures back into their holes for another 18 years!!

p.s. What drug is the Manly CEO on??! Claiming Souths to be the new silvertails is possibly the most ludicrous comment to be made this year. Christ almighty, Manly are still attempting to buy a competition living the high life on the northern beaches, and the Rabbitohs are still scrapping around with a bunch of discards from the rest of the 15 NRL teams and anyone else off the streets of Redfern, getting around in ‘Armani’ suits donated by club owners Russ and Holmes a Court. They have to accumulate some more teeth, and quickly, if they want to compare this lot of bums to being the new silvertails of the NRL

You're Fucking Joking !!!!

This man MUST be our new PM- as if I needed another reason to vote against Howard

So Kevin Rudd gets pissed up and makes a complete arsehole of himself in America's finest strip joint, Scores, and this is supposed to HURT his chances of getting elected PM? What's gone wrong with this fucking country? If this doesn't result in a 25 point rise in his next poll approval rating, then clearly the homos and bible bashers have taken over the country and it's time to emigrate to The Netherlands where a performance like this would be applauded.

How is this possible ???

Nice stack

It gets better every time i watch this !!

Seriously......

Is this the lowest team in any competition in world sport. In fact that should be a statement not a question. I hope you have burnt that flag and torn up that membership Nina, because we are going out to find ourselves a new team. F#cking c*nts!!

The Greatest Ever Ad

I don't know if this ad is aimed at blokes or chicks, but like Pavlov's dogs, which salivated at the sound of a bell, I cannot help but face the tv whenever I hear the first two beats of this ad. It has gotten to the stage where I not only drool, but can hear it from 100m away and come running.

God I love this ad!!

About f%#king time!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I can't stand this fucking moronic American whore, but I must say I had to go back for a second look in yesterdays paper when I spotted what was a decent looking set of norks splashed oput across the midsection pages of the Sun Herald. I hadn't yet realised that these somewhat voluptuous set of breasts belonged to the one, and thankfully only, Paris Hilton. It seems that her chest has grown from a pretty generous giving A Cup set to a standout C Cup over the space of one night's sleep, or in Paris' world, three home made porn flicks.

Now I'm not sure if this is exactly appropriate on this site, maybe I'm on the wrong website, but I'm going to give this despicable human being a wrap for finally taking the plunge and improving her 13 year old boylike chest to that of a 'grown' adult pornstar. My only gripe is that she is stupid enough to deny the fact that she has had some 'work' done in the past few days, quoting "I would never do such a thing to my body". Two sentences later, she is quoted as saying "I am keen to get my left eye done as the eyelid droops a little too much for my liking". Stupid slut. It won't be the only thing drooping when the recently added chicken fillets start to rot and wane in years to come. I'd probably still hit it though....in fact yes, I would definately still hit it!!

Smart Arse

The Hatred grows

Instead of sledging for once, I would like to give a big thumbs up to the grub on the right. Bishan Bedi, an ex Indian spinner, has come out and called "the chucker" Muralitharan, "The best shot putter in world cricket" and added "Murali will complete 1000 test wickets, but they would count as mere run outs in my eyes".

Not often a sub continent grub gets on this pricks case, so I say, good on you Bishan you dirty fly attracting human.

0.368 !!!

Drunk driver's breath test frightens police
The AGE - August 6, 2007 - 11:33AM

A 48-year-old Adelaide man has returned a blood alcohol level seven times over the legal limit, prompting police concerns for his health.

A police spokesman said the man's car was stopped at suburban Rosewater on Friday night where he blew 0.368.

"The reading was in fact so high police took the man to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital to have his condition checked by doctors," the spokesman said.

After being cleared, the man was charged with drink driving, driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle and driving while disqualified.

He was bailed to appear in the Port Adelaide Magistrates Court at a later date.

This guy is obviously superman! I can't believe he was alive, let alone driving a car. And as for driving an unregistered and uninsured car whilst disqualified, how the fuck would he have known all that in the state he was in?

Hmmm maybe he was on his way home from footy training?

Brain Surgeon

August 06, 2007
THE career of champion boxer Anthony Mundine is in doubt because of a serious eye infection.
The World Boxing Association super-middleweight champion and former rugby league star is in a Sydney hospital and is suffering from limited vision, Channel 9 Nine has reported.
After a standard operation last week, Mundine's left eye reportedly became infected over the weekend after he removed a protective contact lens at a restaurant and cleaned it using his mouth.
Mundine re-entered the hospital yesterday and at one stage feared he may have to lose the eye.
"I feared the worst, I feared I could lose the eye," Mundine said.
Mundine also feared for his boxing career.
"I just felt that maybe this it for me," he said.
"The doctor said it could be weeks, could be months for the natural healing process to take place."
Mundine, renowned for his self-promotion and outspoken nature, admitted the experience had genuinely scared him.
"You put yourself in that situation and you think you're going to lose an eye, or a lot of your sight.
"You'd definitely be scared too, especially if you're 'The Man' Mundine."

HE CLEANED HIS CONTACTS BY LICKING THEM- WTF????

Baaa Baaa

A MAN who was accused of having sex with a sheep has walked free because the animal was unable to testify.

The man, from Haaksbergen, near Utrecht in the Netherlands, was reported to police after a farmer caught him having sex with a sheep.

But the case was thrown out of court as the sheep couldn't take to the stand to testify that it didn't want to have sex and had suffered emotional stress.

Under Dutch law, bestiality is not a crime unless it can be proved the animal didn't want to have sex.

"Short of putting the sheep in the dock, at the moment these perverts cannot be prosecuted," animal rights campaigner Jos van Huisen said