Tit Tennis

WOMEN who bare their breasts on high-rise balconies at this week's Gold Coast Indy are likely to escape police action.
Indy flashers have become a fixture of the annual race carnival, prompting complaints from some families and moralists.
Two years ago, Australian army helicopter pilots were suspended and an inquiry ordered after they were photographed flying a "show us your tits" banner during a sweep through the Surfers Paradise concrete canyon.
Yesterday, a group of women warmed up for this year's Indy carnival by exposing their breasts to appreciative construction workers.
But Police Commissioner Bob Atkinson rejected reports that extra police reinforcements will be used to crack down on bawdy balcony displays at this year's Indy carnival, which starts today.
For the first time, police are being flown in from as far away as Cairns, Townsville and Roma for Indy to help control more than 320,000 spectators.
However, Mr Atkinson said police would be exercising discretion rather than adopting a zero-tolerance attitude towards the traditional Indy fleshfest.
"We're not the moral judges of society," he said. "Our role in society is simply to enforce laws that parliament puts into place.
"A good police department, and I hope and believe we are, will exercise enforcement of those laws with a good healthy dose of common sense."
Police sources said it was difficult to arrest Indy flashers because by the time police accessed highrise balaconies, topless offenders would have put their clothes back on.
But police and fire officers will keep a close watch on balconies to ensure they aren't overloaded by spectators, creating the potential for a catastophic collapse.

Good luck and congratulations to Napalm, Aboozed and co making their historic 5th straight journey up north this weekend

Reply to On Field Riot

It is obvious to me that the violence in this years Byron Rugby Sevens can directly be attributed to the fact that the mighty Blueys Elbow Action Tours (B.E.A.T) Pirates didn't attend. The fact that we were by far and away last years crowd favorites, must weigh heavily upon officals, spectators and players alike. Imagine the boredom without our happy, smiling, (drunken) faces to entertain the crowd. No wonder a fight erupted!

Photographic evidence of the fact that we were beloved by all can be found in this years lead-up article in the Northern Star.

Northern Star - Wed 18 Oct 2006

And for anyone who missed the wrap up of last years comp it can be found here

The Monster Vs The Fairy


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On-field riot erupts at rugby tournament

A man will be reported to the Australian Rugby Union after a wild brawl involving players and spectators at Byron Bay's annual rugby sevens tournament in northern New South Wales.
Officials from the Byron Rugby Club say up to 50 people were on the field after a fight broke out between a Queensland-based Fijian team and a New Zealand side.
The club's Russell Rae says it took about 20 minutes for order to be restored, and the Queensland team was disqualified.
"Actually a supporter from the team came on and started throwing punches, king-hitting people and running around generally mucking up and it all sort of kicked off from there," he said.
"All the players came on from both teams and players from Byron were there pulling people off."

The PDC can report that "the supporter" who ran onto the field 'throwing punches' was wearing a princesses' tiara along with pretty pink fairy outfit swinging his/her handbag at all the coconuts on the field. Tana Umunga whom was playing for the moari based side, was said to be the main instigator behind the onfield bashing of "the supporter"

Introducing the happy new couple.....

Mr and 'Mrs' Dixon!!!

The two are said to be currently enjoying a 2 week honeymoon experience accompanied with their precious baking condiments kindly donated as wedding gifts by 'friends' and family

Just tellin' it like it is....

No haka disrespect, just joking

By Willie Mason
Australia starOctober 16, 2006

I SUPPOSE everyone wants to know why I swore during the haka before Saturday's Test match in Auckland. I'll tell you why and it has nothing to do with disrespecting New Zealand.
I was actually standing next to Justin Hodges during the haka and I said to him, "Isn't Brent Webb an Aborigine? Look at him. Get f---ed".
It was just funny seeing an Aborigine trying to lead the haka. I think he might have been making the words up. We were just having a joke around together to take the seriousness off the whole thing and use it to pump our boys up.
I certainly wasn't disrespecting the haka or the Maori culture because I think it's one of the highlights of both international rugby league and rugby union matches. I look forward to the Kiwis doing the haka. It's something that they get really pumped up and emotional on and they really get fired up on it. It makes us get pumped up as well.
But seriously, what do they expect us to do? Bloody crawl into a hole while they're doing it? We've got to do something. That's why we all stood there to show them how united and tight that we are as a team.
Once again it was just beautiful timing from the television cameras to shoot right on my mouth while I was saying it. I apologise for swearing but it was just a bit of a joke to take the emotion out of how intense they were in the haka.
As for David Kidwell's cheap shot on me, I expect nothing less from him. I didn't even see the bloke coming. I remember running at him a few times but I don't think he hit me as hard as that because they were front on.
The only way he seems to put a good shot on players is if he blindsides people. If he wants to play those games, I don't mind. The thing is, I don't really get a chance to tackle him because he doesn't run in the middle that much.
He usually runs at Darren Lockyer or one of our centres. If he wants to play that way, I might have to ask coach Ricky Stuart to play me in the centres as well.



Love him or hate him, Willie always just tells it like it is and you gotta respect that. Wamt an honest appraisal, answer or quote?...Well go see Mr. Mason.

No 'week by week', 'The boys put in 110% ' blah blah blah blah blah regurgitated cliches by Big Wilbur. Often controversial, usually funny Willie says what he reckons and does not give a flying fuck. Often this approach lands him hot water but he just keeps on being Willie(translated means fuck right off cause I don't give a toss). Great work Will keep it up.

As for the haka. The All-Blacks haka is delivered with high intensity, is inspiring and makes you sit up and take notice. As for the Rugby league version.....it's not even close. In fact it's not even in the ballpark or even in the same fucken town.

Kicked-out patron 'tries to burn down pub'

A man allegedly tried to set fire to a Melbourne hotel after he and two others were ejected just minutes earlier.
The man was involved in a dispute at the hotel in Acland Street, St Kilda, about 9pm yesterday, and he and two others were thrown out, police said.
The man got into a taxi, went to a service station, bought a fuel can, filled it with petrol and returned to the hotel, where he tried to ignite the petrol, it is alleged.
There were 300 people inside the hotel at the time.
Security staff apprehended the man and phoned police.
Police interviewed the man, 35, of Moorabbin, but have not laid charges.

Briggsy has been put on high alert after it was discovered that one D Cramp was considering taking similar action in 'retribution' for his ANZAC Day meltdown and consequent ban earlier this year

BEER - Just Do It

Trail of beer, clothes leads to beer truck bandit

CALGARY, Alberta (Reuters) - A man suspected of stealing a loaded beer truck was nabbed after a police dog followed a trail of beer and clothes to find him hiding on top of a porch, Edmonton police said on Tuesday.

The police dog was called out to a parking lot in the western Canadian city on Monday morning where a beer delivery truck, recently stolen outside a liquor store, had been abandoned after a collision.

Edmonton police spokeswoman Karen Carlson said the dog and its handler followed a trail of discarded beer, a cooler, a hand cart and pieces of clothing to a nearby apartment building.

"I guess the dog had a pretty good scent to go on," Carlson said.

Just as police readied to enter the apartment building, the suspect was seen climbing out of a second-storey window and on to the roof of the building's porch.

Police said the man was arrested without incident and charged with theft and hit and run.

I seriously have to go for a holiday in Canada! Talk about the land of opportunity. All the great stories of drunken revelry seem to come from there. I think the OSF's new fundraiser can concentrate on getting me enough cash to get me over there and to cover court costs. I'm sure the Canadian government will cough up the airfare to get me home.

Until then I'm going to have to rob beer trucks naked on recycle night so I don't leave a trail.

Fat Bastards

Coke Touts Calorie-Burning Drink

ATLANTA (AP) -- The Coca-Cola Co. said Wednesday that it will introduce a new green-tea beverage that has been proven to burn calories.

Enviga, which will hit the market in the Northeast next month and nationwide in January, is the product of a joint venture with Nestle S.A. and could burn 60-100 calories with three 12-ounce servings, Coca-Cola said.

The Atlanta-based company said the drink contains caffeine, calcium and a green tea extract known as epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG), which speeds up metabolism and increases energy use, especially when combined with caffeine.

"Enviga increases calorie burning. It represents the perfect partnership of science and nature," said Rhona Applebaum, Coca-Cola's chief scientist.

The company said in a press release that a recent study by the Nestle Research Center, in collaboration with the University of Lausanne in Switzerland, showed that consuming the equivalent of three Envigas over the course of a day resulted in a noticeable increase in burned calories.

The studies showed that when EGCG and caffeine were present in levels comparable to three cans of Enviga, "healthy subjects in the lean to normal weight range can experience an average increase in calorie burning by 60-100 calories," the company said.

Coke said Enviga will be available in three flavors -- green tea, berry and peach -- in 12-ounce sleek cans at a suggested retail price of $1.29 to $1.49 per can.

Let me get this straight. You drink this horse-piss and you lose weight? mmmmm sounds like that miracle cure every fat bastard has dreamed of, and obviously it's the only way to possibily lose weight. Or is it?

How bout you pull your head out of that bucket of chicken, get your fat arse off the fucking lounge and do some fucking excercise you braindead lumps of puss!!! The first fat fuck I see drinking this shit i'm gonna bitchslap the chicken-fat out of em. Fat people already have their own drink -Diet fucking Coke! Or is this shit for the obese gent because diet coke is only for fat chicks.

F.F.S

It's All About The Beer

Well it's about fucking time!!

BEER POOL

An Austrian holiday resort is offering guests the chance to swim in a pool containing 42,000 pints of beer.

The Starkenber Beer Myth resort located in and around the medieval castle of Starkenberger in Austria's Tyrol region has filled seven 13ft long pools with the beer.

The management claims that beer baths heal various skin diseases.

However, some guests are said to have enjoyed drinking their favourite brew while swimming in the pools.

Drink the beer???? You're fucking kidding me!!!

Beer and Crisps together at last

Kettle Chips launches mature cheddar with Adnams Broadside flavour.

Beer and crisps are a match made in heaven, but Kettle Foods is treading bold new ground with its new beer flavoured crisp.

Kettle Chips mature cheddar with Adnams Broadside flavour combines two pub staples - the Southwold brewer's beer and a strong ploughman's cheese.

Kettle Foods marketing director Peter Wilson said: "To our knowledge, this is the UK's first ever real beer-flavoured chip. As such, it will appeal to all lovers of good English ale.

"We couldn't use just any old beer; we had to use the award-winning Broadside from our friendly neighbours at Adnams in Southwold - just a short trip from Kettle's home in Norwich."

Screw your Pommy beer flavour. Get me a packet of Tooheys New flavour, a floating bowl, and send it to me in the pool. I've already invented the beer soaked kebab for the trip home.

Trust Us

I wonder if the name of the company is a help or hinderance in getting work?

Lillian.....Get my pistol.

You new this was coming. This has been simmering for a while now but enough is e-fucken-nough! Fuck you Bundy Bear, you fucken hairy idiot!

For Fucks sake!! What the fuck has a big fucken polar bear got to do with rum manufactured in Bundaberg, Queensland? It surely doesn’t get below 35 degrees C.

At best Bundaberg Rum is a mediocre drink, admired and idolised by thousands of outback/country folk. You know the ones. They drive those fucken utes plastered in stickers, dirt and big fuck-off bullbars and numerous ridiculous fake tall aerials. I don’t get the fake aerial thing. Fucken retards are what they look like.


The ads are what really do it, though. This talking fucking polar bear who acts like it is perfectly normal to mingle and hang around with people. Christ on a bicycle!


The drop bear. Falls on a tent so the chicks are scared and go fuck his mates in their tent. Drop on your fucken head.


Similarly, in another zany mishap the hairy one then sinks a fucken dingy so the chickies in their luxury cruiser will save them. Drown muther fucker. If I was captain of that boat I'd say 'Fuck me dead, there's a fucken polar bear in the middle of this Autralian estuary. Fuck he must be lost. Oh well, hopefully he can find his own fucken way home to his fucking iceberg. And you fucken idiots splashing about can swim to fucken shore for entertaining a fucken polar bear in the first place.'


The red sock. A hilarious joke.....Stop! my fucking sides are hurting. What? Are these chicks gonna have a fucken 4-way with big bad old bundy because he’s man enough to wear pink? Fuck off.

And that ‘clever’ fuck in the fine form ad who orders a pizza to get a ride home. You can tell by the look on his face he thinks this is sheer genious. And then when he says ‘Let’s rock and roll’ with a piece of pizza jammed in his mouth....What a fucken tool! Definitely deserves to have Bundys big hairy balls and cock rammed straight down his throat. That’s the prize for the fine form award, Sunshine!

Fuck you Bundy Bear. You deserve to get shot and trophy mounted and presented to the shooter as a ‘fine-form award’.

Wankers

Hey, when your team scores the game-winning touchdown, and you happen to be standing next to a cheerleader ... well, it's an exciting moment. We'll just say that, that's how he broke his left arm, in the first place.