Greatest BMRUFC Bus Sherry Performance- any memories?
In the comment box of Labrat's awe-inspiring previous post (you complete all of us Labby), Moo mentions the bus sherry record, which I had remembered as belonging to the world class fuel monster Derek Sargent. (His other claim to fame being tripping over a tombstone while doing a runner from a cabbie)
Rossco has claimed the record was broken by Shaq a couple of years later.
I believe this may be true but lets go over the hazy, alcohol battered memory banks. I was there for both atrocities, I remember Dereks especially as it was my first bus trip too and i was absolutely shocked, mesmerised and delighted by the sub human behaviour not just displayed but celebrated and not just on the bus home but during the whole day.
Sarge sculled two schooners in record time then literally begged Bourney to give him a third. Bourney, voice of reason that he is, denied Sarge the third schooner (I'm pretty sure it was two but i could be wrong. Still, if Bourney tells you enoughs enough it time for some serious self-contemplation)
This bus trip was, however, absolutely the venue for the worst bus sherry effort when "Thunder Dan" Mackie struggled through his schooner then sprayed half the bus with his chunder when he attempted the ludicrous "vomit through the top bus window into the wind while going 110 kph down the M4" trick with predictably disastrous results.
On to Shaq's effort, I'm pretty sure that he did do the third schooner however I believe two factors come into play here. Moo was in charge of the sherry and he was actively pursuing the first ever bus virgin fatality, and may have achieved it had someone (i think it was Thug) told him off. If Sarge was on this bus he may well have sculled eight schooners.
Secondly, Shaq did proceed to spray vomit on two or three of the ladies on the bus and got taken straight home after the bus got back to the office. No shame in that, but Sarge in comparison canned on well into the night/following morning.
My memories of both events are sketchy at best, especially the second one, but I maintain that while both performances were outstanding, Sarge's was a little better- not in quantity but quality, but I am willing to hear arguments for and against, along with any other nominations.
Rossco has claimed the record was broken by Shaq a couple of years later.
I believe this may be true but lets go over the hazy, alcohol battered memory banks. I was there for both atrocities, I remember Dereks especially as it was my first bus trip too and i was absolutely shocked, mesmerised and delighted by the sub human behaviour not just displayed but celebrated and not just on the bus home but during the whole day.
Sarge sculled two schooners in record time then literally begged Bourney to give him a third. Bourney, voice of reason that he is, denied Sarge the third schooner (I'm pretty sure it was two but i could be wrong. Still, if Bourney tells you enoughs enough it time for some serious self-contemplation)
This bus trip was, however, absolutely the venue for the worst bus sherry effort when "Thunder Dan" Mackie struggled through his schooner then sprayed half the bus with his chunder when he attempted the ludicrous "vomit through the top bus window into the wind while going 110 kph down the M4" trick with predictably disastrous results.
On to Shaq's effort, I'm pretty sure that he did do the third schooner however I believe two factors come into play here. Moo was in charge of the sherry and he was actively pursuing the first ever bus virgin fatality, and may have achieved it had someone (i think it was Thug) told him off. If Sarge was on this bus he may well have sculled eight schooners.
Secondly, Shaq did proceed to spray vomit on two or three of the ladies on the bus and got taken straight home after the bus got back to the office. No shame in that, but Sarge in comparison canned on well into the night/following morning.
My memories of both events are sketchy at best, especially the second one, but I maintain that while both performances were outstanding, Sarge's was a little better- not in quantity but quality, but I am willing to hear arguments for and against, along with any other nominations.
posted by Mr Devine | 7:16 PM
5 Comments:
I havent laughed so hard in ages Deevs, thankyou. Yep agreed on the D Sargeant performace for true quality as you say, and I dont doubt for a second he would have made double figures in schooners culled throughout the night (maybe not in one bus trip though, but then again, it is Sarge after all!). I have fuelled on with Sarge thru my formative years as a drunk thru school, and I have witnessed him spend a night solely drinking gallons and gallons of port, but then again, who hasn't when they were a teenage dirtbag.
Another worth noting and perhaps is the world record holder for quantity sculled in one such bus trip only has to be that of the corpse formerly known as Dave Tomich. A known teatotaller, he proceeded to get drunk enough on one schooner of sherry where he turned into Barney as per the Simpsons fame, and crunched 4 more schooners of the good stuff before morphing into Bernie Lomax for the rest of the evening. How long til rugby season starts up again!!!
to clarify Shaqs record he did 4 schooners of sherry and remained upright for about 10 mins before spraying the wives and bus driver.
The corpse formerly known as Tomich had 4 MIDDIES and promptly collapsed into a dribbling heap. In his defence Tommo is not a big drinker and was being egged on by Biggy, Harry, Big Will and Morvs.
I think instead of an outright record holder we need a "Sherry Hall of Fame" to be judged on things like:amount drunk, time upright, artistic spewing, how memorable, how much we laugh and a miriad of other things that take our fancy at the time.
We already have 3 starters.
Not sure if he drank sherry, but Chris Hand's effort of drinking, spewing into his glass, drinking it again, then again spewing into the glass, before polishing it off once and for all deserves special mention I reckon
YES!!! I forgot about that one- a truly messy performance for the ages. what is it about the name Hand thar provokes meltdowns?
What about Cowly from last year.....I remember pouring him into the missusses car and he didnt have a sherry............................
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