It all makes sense.......

Dear believers and sheep people of this proud nation.

I know you may have thought that I had become a casualty of censorship and had my meager technologies confiscated, but none of it! I have been trying my hand at a legitimate living and recently found myself removed from a sure thing. I have just received notice from the Federal Government that my tender for the safekeeping of the futures fund was unsuccessful and has been won by Northern Trust. Apparently the spider hole wasn’t secure nor technologically advanced enough for Gordon McKellar and his band of chump change guardians. To tell you the truth, I am glad that it has been sent offshore because it proves that we are truly living in a global era, where help is just a telephone call and 5000kms away. It has made me look into the whole mish mash of life and contemplate the future of Oz.

One of the things this latest episode of our government sending jobs overseas has proven to all of us is that it need not stop at the utilities and finance sector. Let’s start at the bottom and work our way up. Unemployment. Lets send all of our unemployed overseas. It will be cheaper for them to call CentreLink if they are making a local call from Bangor. This will free up our local telephone lines, so they will need less maintenance, so let’s piss all of the Telcos off and use Singtel in Asia to look after our communications. There would be less need for public transport so we could import rickshaw operators and get rid of all of the trains buses and ferrys. The fares would be sent back to Hong Kong to help enforce the new family planning legislation in the farmlands of China. See ya QANTAS!

The government!!! Do we really need the government of Australia to be based here? Howard started the trend of decentralised government by operating out of Kirrabillee House, so why not Siberia, or perhaps the Mormon belt of the USA. Or maybe we could outsource it completely. Put it out to tender and go with the cheapest bid.

What about Media. One paper, One channel, every programme hosted by Eddie McGuire owned by local grown tycoon Rupert. Satellite it in from the US. 24 hours of non stop who wants to be a billionaire? – Northern Trust does!