MMMMMM BOOBIES

Jennifer Aniston with her tits out! Pity she's looks like she needs a good feed though.
Special thanks to Rhodesy for finding it.

Farewell LabRat

Thanks for the memories mate. Your sendoff performance on the bus Saturday night was first rate. I am still in shock that you are actually still alive and that Mrs Rat still puts up with you.

Good luck Canada on the return of your newly adopted favourite piece of Vermin!!

p.s. We are looking forward to the return of some quality Sprays whilst on the slop over there

p.p.s. Is that Mrs Rat on top of Labby??!!

It all makes sense.......

Dear believers and sheep people of this proud nation.

I know you may have thought that I had become a casualty of censorship and had my meager technologies confiscated, but none of it! I have been trying my hand at a legitimate living and recently found myself removed from a sure thing. I have just received notice from the Federal Government that my tender for the safekeeping of the futures fund was unsuccessful and has been won by Northern Trust. Apparently the spider hole wasn’t secure nor technologically advanced enough for Gordon McKellar and his band of chump change guardians. To tell you the truth, I am glad that it has been sent offshore because it proves that we are truly living in a global era, where help is just a telephone call and 5000kms away. It has made me look into the whole mish mash of life and contemplate the future of Oz.

One of the things this latest episode of our government sending jobs overseas has proven to all of us is that it need not stop at the utilities and finance sector. Let’s start at the bottom and work our way up. Unemployment. Lets send all of our unemployed overseas. It will be cheaper for them to call CentreLink if they are making a local call from Bangor. This will free up our local telephone lines, so they will need less maintenance, so let’s piss all of the Telcos off and use Singtel in Asia to look after our communications. There would be less need for public transport so we could import rickshaw operators and get rid of all of the trains buses and ferrys. The fares would be sent back to Hong Kong to help enforce the new family planning legislation in the farmlands of China. See ya QANTAS!

The government!!! Do we really need the government of Australia to be based here? Howard started the trend of decentralised government by operating out of Kirrabillee House, so why not Siberia, or perhaps the Mormon belt of the USA. Or maybe we could outsource it completely. Put it out to tender and go with the cheapest bid.

What about Media. One paper, One channel, every programme hosted by Eddie McGuire owned by local grown tycoon Rupert. Satellite it in from the US. 24 hours of non stop who wants to be a billionaire? – Northern Trust does!

FUCKING WHAT??????

It doesn't get much worse than being caught masturbating, unless what you are masturbating to is World of Warcraft.

Fat Slut Stickers

What is it with these stickers.?! Not once, have I ever spotted a semi decent looking bird in a car branded with the frangipani or 'Bad Girl' stickers frequenting our streets. Maybe it's just me and the dodgy areas I may find myself in at times, but I am going to go out on a limb here and propose to rename these stickers: "Fat Slut Stickers".

So many near death experiences through running up the back of other cars and the genuine fright I receive when spotting one of these horrific whales when anticpitating an actual "bad girl" or sweet, good looking 18 year old on P plates with flowers on her back window. Let me recommend that you don't bother looking at the drivers of these vehicles as I have stupidly done over the past couple of years and keep on driving towards the eastern suburbs or North Shore where you might actually spot something worth paying the chiropractic bills for severe whiplash, not wasting your time in Sydney's western suburbs observing large native mammal life as I have done for too long now.....

News Flash

My Dream Job

Brewer must pay alcoholic beer taster

Sun May 6, 2:12 PM ET

SAO PAULO, Brazil - A Brazilian court has ordered local brewer Ambev to pay 100,000 reals (US$49,400; euro36,400) to an alcoholic beer taster who drank about a liter and a half (3.2 pints) of beer each day.

The unidentified employee alleged that the company did not provide the health measures needed to keep him from developing alcoholism, a labor court in the Rio Grande do Sul state said in a statement Friday.

The employee said in his lawsuit that for more than a decade, he drank between 16 and 25 small glasses of beer during his eight-hour shifts at the company

The employee said he also received a bottle of beer after each shift.

An initial ruling had favored Ambev, or Companhia de Bebidas das Americas, which can still appeal the decision. The company alleged the employee already was an alcoholic before becoming a beer taster.

Judge Jose Felipe Ledur said the company still was negligent because an alcoholic should never have been made a beer taster.

Ledur also said the employee's alcohol dependency had worsened in recent years and that even on vacation, the employee felt like drinking the same amount of beer he drank at work.

Let me get this straight, there are jobs where they pay you to drink piss???
How come when i have between 16 and 25 glasses of beer a day I have to pay for them!
Now, I realise that being in Brazil the pay is as bad as a John Howard AWA, but jesus the perks are far more than worth it! And instead of superanuation you get to sue the company for more piss money, because you weren't an alco before you started (wink, wink).
Brazil here I come!

.

Hoff pt 2

Here's the video to go with Smackdogs post.

The Hoff is still a funny funny man

NO FUCKEN MID-STRENGTH BEER FOR THE HOFF MY FRIENDS!!!

"ALCOHOLIC US actor David Hasselhoff has acknowledged he has fallen off the wagon after his 16-year-old daughter video-taped the former Baywatch star rolling drunkenly on the floor of a hotel room.
The video, which aired today on TV tabloid shows, shows an apparently drunk Hasselhoff, wearing only jeans, lying on the floor of a room and clumsily eating a hamburger while daughter tells him off about his drinking.


The TV shows said the tape was made about three months ago by Hasselhoff's daughter, Taylor-Ann, in a hotel room in Las Vegas, where the Hoff has been appearing in a stage version of The Producers.
Hasselhoff's publicist Judy Katz said she could not confirm those details.
On the tape, a girl's voice is heard saying: "Dad, you need to promise me you're not gonna get alcohol tonight, OK?"
"If you get alcohol tonight you're fired from your show tomorrow," the girl continues. "And a doctor's coming over here in the morning to check your alcohol level and if there's any alcohol in your system you're gonna be fired from the show. Tomorrow. You hear me? No alcohol."
"Ok," Hasselhoff replies in a slurred voice.
Today, Hasselhoff issued a statement in which he said he was a recovering alcoholic.
"Despite that I have been going through a painful divorce and I have recently been separated from my children due to my work, I have been successfully dealing with my issues. Unfortunately, one evening I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse."

Hoff man,you still got it! Wish I had a smart car to drive me home when shitfaced.

Just as I suspected.

CANBERRA (Reuters Life!) - Australians, long regarded as a nation of beer drinkers rivaled only by the Germans, seem to be turning soft, or sober.

After 113 years, the country's biggest selling beer, Victoria Bitter, or VB, is to be produced in a mid-strength version to keep pace with the country's fast-changing beer tastes.

VB, with its distinctive green label, has since 1894 been a staple of hard-drinking backyard barbecues, student revels and football games, not to mention healthy overseas exports.

Now brewer Foster's has decided for the first time to produce the beer in a weaker yellow-label version with 3.5 percent strength, down from 5 percent, as Australians abandon it for scores of more upscale "boutique" or craft beers.

"The change has been dramatic. The drinking habits of Australians have been changing over time and what we have found is that the markets in growth are the premium and mid-strength markets," Foster's Brand Manager Felicity Watson told Reuters.

WELL, WELL, WELL, just as i always suspected, VB is just Fosters in a green can and is only drunk by faggots who can't hold their piss.