Stupid Fucking Cube!!

Remember the first time you solved this annoying lump of plastic? Jumping around screaming woohoo at the top of your lungs before breaking into a spritely irish jig and singing "I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T".

What's that? You never solved it? Eat shit and die loser!! Cause I have!!

That's right, I've finished it, without pulling it apart, and it only took me 25 years! woofuckinghoo!

This year is the 25th anniversary of the Rubiks Cube, and Erno Rubik, its inventor still hasn't been hacked to death for it. For those of you not old enough to remember the absolute hysteria surrounding the cube craze, this crime against nature is the main reason I almost failed high school. (drugs, alcohol and yo-yos also played their part, but I didn't invent new swear words using those).

For those of you thinking "Fuck off Moo you lying cunt!" I'm telling the truth - I actually did pass high school. And as of yesterday I solved the Rubiks Cube! woohoo!

I must confess though, I couldn't do it all by myself, so I found this link for a solution page.
Back in the day, I tried using books to get it finished but they might as well have been in chinese. This however is pretty straight forward and only took about 20mins of swearing the first time. If, like me you lived through that tragic era called the 80's, I suggest you give it one more try, because the feeling you get after you've finished is like having a shit after 25 years of constipation!

Now all I have to do to make my life complete is smash the offending cube so it won't annoy me ever again, and find that cunt Rubik and kick his fucking teeth in!