ANOTHER AUSTRALIAN OVERSEAS 2: LABRAT VS DUSTY

Another Australian Overseas Pt II
Gentlemen, I must apologise for not being able to locate either photos or the incriminating video footage of my self destruction on that fateful day at the Banff rugby tournament when Dusty and I crossed paths.

Dusty had been kind enough that morning to complement me on my progressive drunkenness during the course of four matches the day before and I can only hope my performance in some way influenced Dusty into his horrendously drunk match on the Sunday.

The action picks up just as Dusty was falling in a heap during his team’s kangaroo court and I watched on as an amused bystander. In the end my amusement was a little too much for the coach who decided his penalty drink straight out of the bottle could go to me. Raising this bottle of gasoline to my lips is the last memory I have for many hours but I am informed this fueled a session of sculling straight spirits with the coach.

Eventually the remainders of my team watched on in fascination as I walked over to a very dodgy looking creek to take a piss. Deciding that holding on to a small sapling was a better option than pissing off the bridge and my mates watched on as I wobbled side to side and back and forth trying to balance and not pitch into the toxic waters. Eventually I toppled face first off the bank and out of sight. On team mate was not too busy laughing and raced over towards me in case I was at the bottom of the creek to find me passed out on the muddy edge of the water, safe and sound.

Not too many Labrat stories end without an angry girlfriend and sure enough I had promised the GF that we would spend time together that night. I spent the majority of the night in the fetal position around the toilet claiming food poisoning.

This wasn’t an out and out lie because I honestly couldn’t remember all the sculling and did not learn about the gallons of piss until the next training session.