Matt Hayden- the first Aussie President???

Matt Hayden should be the first President of an Australian Republic.

After reading about his spray of that grub Harbajan Singh as an "obnoxious little weed" I went from being a bit of a fan of his, to thinking that he should immediately be appointed captain (not that I have anything against Ponting), to thinking maybe a Nobel Prize may be in order, perhaps a knighthood, then I thought fuck it, we'll be a republic within 4 years with a Labor government, and this is exactly the type of behaviour that must be demanded of an Australian President- honest, straight to the point, talking the truth without regard to the consequences and happy to offend grubs.

Clearly, he is now the most popular man in Australia and would romp any election in- who WOULDN'T vote for him.

Although he is a Queenslander....

CAN DRIVE

They should let this guy go cause he's so fucking good!

More Amazing Barry Dawson Facts

Shane Watson is allowed to live because Barry Dawson doesn't kill women.
When Barry Dawson goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Barry Dawsoned.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Barry Dawson.
Barry Dawson counted to infinity - twice.
When Barry Dawson does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the E arth down.
Barry Dawson hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Barry Dawson gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Barry Dawson can slam a revolving door.
Barry Dawson's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. E ver.
Superman owns a pair of Barry Dawson pyjamas.
Barry Dawson owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Barry Dawson doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Once a cobra bit Barry Dawson's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Barry Dawson divides by zero.
Barry Dawson is always on top during sex because Barry Dawson never f***s up.
Barry Dawson once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.
The only time Barry Dawson was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Barry Dawson Facts

Barry Dawson once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Barry Dawson's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; noone fools Barry Dawson.

Barry Dawson can speak Braille.

When Barry Dawson exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Barry Dawson doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Barry Dawson can kill two stones with one bird.

Barry Dawson can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Barry Dawson once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Barry Dawson is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game oftennis.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Barry Dawson once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was sixfeet tall and had learned karate.

Barry Dawson once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?"contest. Barry Dawson won by 5.

Barry Dawson once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

When Barry Dawson has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Barry Dawson, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Barry Dawson ordered a Big Mac at Red Rooster, and got one.

It takes Barry Dawson 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Barry Dawson doesn't believe in New Zealand.

Barry Dawson can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Barry Dawson recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We now know this beverage as Red Bull.

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of Australian women lost their virginity to Barry Dawson. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

Barry Dawson invented the internet... just so he had a place to storehis porn.

One day Barry Dawson walked down the street with a massive erection.T here were no survivors.

When Barry Dawson plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Barry Dawson qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500,without a car.

Business Time !

These guys are piss funny.

'nuff said

GAYFL players are cockjugglers the world over

I don't think I could have experienced a more 'Stralian Australia Day than the one just gone here in fucking freezing Canada.

My mate Ben from Albury and I found out a bar would be serving Aussie beers on the 26th and decided that was the one for us despite it being a sponsor of the aussie rules team. I do mean "the" aussie rules team. Supposedly these pricks have to travel to another state or the US to get a game.

All was well for the start of the night and the Gayfl players seemed alright, although their woggy coach seemed extremely insulted when I didn't remember meeting him when i was blind at the rugby grounds one day. Inevitably it had to happen and this perm haired flea decided towards the end of the night it was time for the gayfl traditional of trying to convince the rugby players that their sport is better than ours.

Ben is only 21, but being from ALbury has been dealing with gayfl egos since he started sneaking into bars at 15, and was ready for the challenge. Dippa strode on up and asked Ben why he wastes his time playing rugby and that gayfl is a much better sport.

"When did Australia last win a World Cup in aussie rules?" Ben replied.
"We don't have a World Cup", the coach replies.
"That's because it's a cunt of a game and no one else wants to play the fucking thing. Now leave me alone."