Merry Xmas

Greatest BMRUFC Bus Sherry Performance- any memories?

In the comment box of Labrat's awe-inspiring previous post (you complete all of us Labby), Moo mentions the bus sherry record, which I had remembered as belonging to the world class fuel monster Derek Sargent. (His other claim to fame being tripping over a tombstone while doing a runner from a cabbie)
Rossco has claimed the record was broken by Shaq a couple of years later.
I believe this may be true but lets go over the hazy, alcohol battered memory banks. I was there for both atrocities, I remember Dereks especially as it was my first bus trip too and i was absolutely shocked, mesmerised and delighted by the sub human behaviour not just displayed but celebrated and not just on the bus home but during the whole day.
Sarge sculled two schooners in record time then literally begged Bourney to give him a third. Bourney, voice of reason that he is, denied Sarge the third schooner (I'm pretty sure it was two but i could be wrong. Still, if Bourney tells you enoughs enough it time for some serious self-contemplation)
This bus trip was, however, absolutely the venue for the worst bus sherry effort when "Thunder Dan" Mackie struggled through his schooner then sprayed half the bus with his chunder when he attempted the ludicrous "vomit through the top bus window into the wind while going 110 kph down the M4" trick with predictably disastrous results.
On to Shaq's effort, I'm pretty sure that he did do the third schooner however I believe two factors come into play here. Moo was in charge of the sherry and he was actively pursuing the first ever bus virgin fatality, and may have achieved it had someone (i think it was Thug) told him off. If Sarge was on this bus he may well have sculled eight schooners.
Secondly, Shaq did proceed to spray vomit on two or three of the ladies on the bus and got taken straight home after the bus got back to the office. No shame in that, but Sarge in comparison canned on well into the night/following morning.
My memories of both events are sketchy at best, especially the second one, but I maintain that while both performances were outstanding, Sarge's was a little better- not in quantity but quality, but I am willing to hear arguments for and against, along with any other nominations.

It Is Done

After years of slop and a single brain/memory cell now carrying the load, the Canucks' most prestigious award is in my grasp. Most Valuable Drunk is mine.

Unsurprisingly, by the time they awarded me this I was having serious trouble speaking and managed about six words over two minutes during my acceptance speech.

The MVD award has been going since the 70s with the Canucks. It is obviously not an award presented for being able to handle your booze well or with class, but enthusiasm is encouraged.

Attending my first preso with the Canucks in 2005 I was extremely impressed to learn that the MVD award was the centrepiece of the entire evening, pushing playing awards to a secondary role. At this point I knew I could live in Canada, despite missing the pigslop of Blue Mountains rugby.

The award underwent a change this year after the powers that be foolishly listened to the complaints of women and homos that the night shouldn't be all about a drinking award. Typically the four nominees for the award would compete in a number of competitions before the winner was announced. These were usually rigged as the winner had been voted on a week earlier by the MVD alumni.

This year the preliminaries were carried out on our Gentlemen's Night and the winner was still up for grabs on the night.

The two frontrunners were myself and my brother, who has been on an alcohol fueled second childhood since getting a divorce a week before I turned up in 2005.

Some speculators have said that I managed to steal the award during the final test of the night.

Last year's winner is from Canada's equivalent of Tasmania, Newfoundland, which is primarily a bunch of backward fishermen and therefore our last test was to play the "air fiddle" accompanied by fiddling music. I decided to use the only prop I had at my disposal and whipped out my pecker to use as a substitute and the "meat fiddle" was born. In an attempt to outdo me my brother decided to get rock and roll and try to slide across a few tables, misjudged his trajectory, and destroyed two old, heavy tables.

Farewell to a Ledgend

Before most of the Crusty Demons were born there was EVEL KNIEVEL.

The quintessential showman and daredevil, he made the jackass and crusty demon crews look like rank amateurs.

If there was a slight possibility that you could jump it on a bike he would try it, including Snake River canyon on a rocket powered bike.

Like those who followed he also did it for the "booze and chicks".

My mother (and every other mother) hated this man with a passion. Because of him every kid wanted to be a daredevil stuntman, including my brother and myself.

We would launch ourselves down ridiculously steep hills on our treadlies at a ramp made up of a fence paling balanced on 3 or four bricks. To add to the fun we would add junk to jump over to set the "New World Record". This included spare bricks and fence palings, old tires, a bike, and, until mum caught us, my sister and cousin.

Farewell Evel, you were an inspiration and role model to an entire generation.