It's time to go - NRL
Since i've had enough of the NRL, I thought we should move cricket in a bit earlier.
DAVID BOON FACTS
The concept of David Boon in a drinking contest is an oxymoron. When Boonie is involved, there is no contest.
Alcoholics became anonymous to stop Boonie calling them, "Pussies who can't handle their booze."
David Boon has never been out in a game of cricket, he just gives other blokes a turn.
David Boon famously vomited on the hallowed Adelaide Oval turf in a World Series Cricket match in 1988 before a live nationwide TV audience of millions. (He went on to make 122 and win "Man Of The Match" ).
Just like superman has his kryptonite, David Boon has his light beer.
David Boon's cricket whites were made from the skins of English cricketers.
David Boon has never drunk a single beer in his life. He always has more than one.
David Boon does not wear a groin protector. Cricket balls are made of leather to withstand the impact of David Boon's groin.
When a Danish newspaper published a cartoon of David Boon without a moustache, Tasmanians from around the world started rioting.
In drinking competitions, David Boon has been known to take swigs from his competitors glasses when they aren't looking.
In games of skill, an inexperienced player may be referred to as a NOOB, meaning he is the complete opposite of David Boon.
If Chuck Norris threw a roundhouse kick at David Boon whilst Boonie played a leg glance, the world as we know it would be destroyed.
David Boon has been known to hide a keg of beer in his cricket bag.
In the early days of Australian motoring, David Boon realised that he needed a new type of vehicle. One that was stylish enough to ferry his freshly-pressed whites and billowing moustache to the game, but robust enough to carry ten kegs of beer. And so the Holden Ute was born.
Scientists once said that challenging Chuck Norris to a fight is the stupidest thing you can do. This is wrong. The stupidest thing you can do is challenge David Boon to a drinking contest.
It is the dream of every freshly filled Victoria Bitter can, bottle or keg to one day end up inside David Boon. Thankfully more than half get their wish granted.
Boonie's tears don't cure cancer, but they do cure a hard earned thirst as they are 4.9% alcohol.
Like most people, David Boon can crush a beer can against his forehead. Unlike most people, his beer can does not need to be empty.
Never ask Boonie the time, as his response will always be "Time for your shout." And you have no choice but to oblige.
When "Inside Cricket" magazine awards their Player of the Year, there is fine print on the bottom of the page that says: * besides David Boon.
The runaway success of David Boon's famous BBQ Boon Burger lead to the extinction of the Tasmanian Tiger.
David Boon can remove his moustache and use it to soak up gravy, polish cricket balls or pleasure a woman.
David Boon could count to infinity. He just can't be arsed.
David Boon can make a woman climax by simply pointing at his mo.
David Boon once shot a British plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Howzat!"
David Boon recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Foster's. Boonie won't drink it either.
DAVID BOON FACTS
The concept of David Boon in a drinking contest is an oxymoron. When Boonie is involved, there is no contest.
Alcoholics became anonymous to stop Boonie calling them, "Pussies who can't handle their booze."
David Boon has never been out in a game of cricket, he just gives other blokes a turn.
David Boon famously vomited on the hallowed Adelaide Oval turf in a World Series Cricket match in 1988 before a live nationwide TV audience of millions. (He went on to make 122 and win "Man Of The Match" ).
Just like superman has his kryptonite, David Boon has his light beer.
David Boon's cricket whites were made from the skins of English cricketers.
David Boon has never drunk a single beer in his life. He always has more than one.
David Boon does not wear a groin protector. Cricket balls are made of leather to withstand the impact of David Boon's groin.
When a Danish newspaper published a cartoon of David Boon without a moustache, Tasmanians from around the world started rioting.
In drinking competitions, David Boon has been known to take swigs from his competitors glasses when they aren't looking.
In games of skill, an inexperienced player may be referred to as a NOOB, meaning he is the complete opposite of David Boon.
If Chuck Norris threw a roundhouse kick at David Boon whilst Boonie played a leg glance, the world as we know it would be destroyed.
David Boon has been known to hide a keg of beer in his cricket bag.
In the early days of Australian motoring, David Boon realised that he needed a new type of vehicle. One that was stylish enough to ferry his freshly-pressed whites and billowing moustache to the game, but robust enough to carry ten kegs of beer. And so the Holden Ute was born.
Scientists once said that challenging Chuck Norris to a fight is the stupidest thing you can do. This is wrong. The stupidest thing you can do is challenge David Boon to a drinking contest.
It is the dream of every freshly filled Victoria Bitter can, bottle or keg to one day end up inside David Boon. Thankfully more than half get their wish granted.
Boonie's tears don't cure cancer, but they do cure a hard earned thirst as they are 4.9% alcohol.
Like most people, David Boon can crush a beer can against his forehead. Unlike most people, his beer can does not need to be empty.
Never ask Boonie the time, as his response will always be "Time for your shout." And you have no choice but to oblige.
When "Inside Cricket" magazine awards their Player of the Year, there is fine print on the bottom of the page that says: * besides David Boon.
The runaway success of David Boon's famous BBQ Boon Burger lead to the extinction of the Tasmanian Tiger.
David Boon can remove his moustache and use it to soak up gravy, polish cricket balls or pleasure a woman.
David Boon could count to infinity. He just can't be arsed.
David Boon can make a woman climax by simply pointing at his mo.
David Boon once shot a British plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Howzat!"
David Boon recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Foster's. Boonie won't drink it either.
posted by moo | 6:57 PM
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