Deevs' Olympic Wrap
Not a bad Olympics overall, I must say that I got into it a lot more than i had anticipated. Here's my extended thoughts from 2 and a bit weeks on the couch watching fit people do their thing.
Firstly, all this crap about the best Olympics ever. We hear this almost every Olympics, except for the shambolic Athens Olympics. I contend that if you actually ask an average fan, rather than an IOC official that gets pampered like a newborn, whether they would rather going to Beijing and worrying about being beaten with a rattan stick for cheering too loudly or going to Sydney and boozing up pretty much continuously for 3 weeks at various locales around the beautiful harbour city, which would they pick? Not exactly money or the box is it?
As for the sport, I stand by my contention that the Olympics is full of sports we see only once every 4 years for a reason- they are boring as batshit. I've ranted against swimming before on this blog, as it is a retarded sport for social misfits too unco-ordinated to do any actual enjoyable sports. If I hear one more bleating journo proclaim Phelps as one of the great athletes on par with Ali, MJ, Woods etc, I will completely lose the plot. Are there any other sports where you can even try to get 8 gold medals? If Bolt could do the 50, the 100, the 150, the 200, the 100m skip, the 100m running backwards etc, don't you reckon he'd sweep them? Phelps would win swimming, and thats it. If LeBron James decided to do decathlon, for instance, and train for 12 months, I would have him at $1.40 to win gold. The guy is six-nine, 120 kg, is super fit, and runs faster and jumps higher than anyone. Now THATS an athlete. A swimmer, by default, cannot be the worlds greatest athlete. 98% of swimmers quit by the end of high school, because they realise how fucked it is. Do you know anyone that does competitive swimming? Didn't think so. Great athletes do things like run, jump, tackle, kick, hit etc. Not fucking swim.
As for track and feild, it's a similar story. Bolt is an anomaly, because Jamaica is for some strange reason obsessed with sprinting, and isn't really into any football codes in a big way. Apart from him, the worlds fastest and best athletes are roaming around the NFL, soccer and rugby fields worldwide. If you are the best athlete at you high school, do you run track? Of course not, you shoot for the dollars and play some sort of football. Strong enough to throw? Then pad up kid. Can you jump out of the building? Then the NBA has 15 million dollars with your name on it. Track and field is for people who are athletic but too soft to get hit or too unco to play ball sports.
Some of the other sports defy belief. Synchronised swimming was bad enough, but synchronised diving? FFS. Although it was funny to see the world champion Russian diver, after watching his partner damn near empty the pool like Doddsy on the Gold Coast, look at him as if to say "Fuck you, I'm getting you thrown in the Gulag when we get home"
Also, how can we have beach volleyball and normal volleyball? Can we have putt putt? Maybe one on one half court hoops? Who determines which sports are in because I think we could have the boat race in the next Olympics- its arguably more strenuous than shooting and table tennis is essentially a game played in back rooms while drinking- why not combine the two?
The funniest part of the games was without a doubt hearing the Aussie diver who won the gold speak. For two weeks I had been trying to convince my wife, who was perving on the divers whenever they minced around the screen, that all divers are gay. He made Sixty-Forty sound like Mr T. She was trying to deny it, but as soon as the Aussie started carrying on like Hank Azaria in the Birdcage, the argument against my assertion was dead and buried. Life is so predictable sometimes.
As for my favourite performance of the Olympics, it has to be the pole vault win by Steve Hooker. Nothing like seeing a stringbean bongrat Aussie staunch up after beating a Russian to the gold. Did anyone even realise pole vaulting was an option in Australia? I had no idea- we never had it at the Blaxland High athletics carnival. Random performances like that are really what makes the Olympics watchable- not watching swimmers have sook when they win a silver instead of gold- I'd much rather a bogan chick like Sally McClelland accidentally drop an S- bomb because she cant believe she came second.
Firstly, all this crap about the best Olympics ever. We hear this almost every Olympics, except for the shambolic Athens Olympics. I contend that if you actually ask an average fan, rather than an IOC official that gets pampered like a newborn, whether they would rather going to Beijing and worrying about being beaten with a rattan stick for cheering too loudly or going to Sydney and boozing up pretty much continuously for 3 weeks at various locales around the beautiful harbour city, which would they pick? Not exactly money or the box is it?
As for the sport, I stand by my contention that the Olympics is full of sports we see only once every 4 years for a reason- they are boring as batshit. I've ranted against swimming before on this blog, as it is a retarded sport for social misfits too unco-ordinated to do any actual enjoyable sports. If I hear one more bleating journo proclaim Phelps as one of the great athletes on par with Ali, MJ, Woods etc, I will completely lose the plot. Are there any other sports where you can even try to get 8 gold medals? If Bolt could do the 50, the 100, the 150, the 200, the 100m skip, the 100m running backwards etc, don't you reckon he'd sweep them? Phelps would win swimming, and thats it. If LeBron James decided to do decathlon, for instance, and train for 12 months, I would have him at $1.40 to win gold. The guy is six-nine, 120 kg, is super fit, and runs faster and jumps higher than anyone. Now THATS an athlete. A swimmer, by default, cannot be the worlds greatest athlete. 98% of swimmers quit by the end of high school, because they realise how fucked it is. Do you know anyone that does competitive swimming? Didn't think so. Great athletes do things like run, jump, tackle, kick, hit etc. Not fucking swim.
As for track and feild, it's a similar story. Bolt is an anomaly, because Jamaica is for some strange reason obsessed with sprinting, and isn't really into any football codes in a big way. Apart from him, the worlds fastest and best athletes are roaming around the NFL, soccer and rugby fields worldwide. If you are the best athlete at you high school, do you run track? Of course not, you shoot for the dollars and play some sort of football. Strong enough to throw? Then pad up kid. Can you jump out of the building? Then the NBA has 15 million dollars with your name on it. Track and field is for people who are athletic but too soft to get hit or too unco to play ball sports.
Some of the other sports defy belief. Synchronised swimming was bad enough, but synchronised diving? FFS. Although it was funny to see the world champion Russian diver, after watching his partner damn near empty the pool like Doddsy on the Gold Coast, look at him as if to say "Fuck you, I'm getting you thrown in the Gulag when we get home"
Also, how can we have beach volleyball and normal volleyball? Can we have putt putt? Maybe one on one half court hoops? Who determines which sports are in because I think we could have the boat race in the next Olympics- its arguably more strenuous than shooting and table tennis is essentially a game played in back rooms while drinking- why not combine the two?
The funniest part of the games was without a doubt hearing the Aussie diver who won the gold speak. For two weeks I had been trying to convince my wife, who was perving on the divers whenever they minced around the screen, that all divers are gay. He made Sixty-Forty sound like Mr T. She was trying to deny it, but as soon as the Aussie started carrying on like Hank Azaria in the Birdcage, the argument against my assertion was dead and buried. Life is so predictable sometimes.
As for my favourite performance of the Olympics, it has to be the pole vault win by Steve Hooker. Nothing like seeing a stringbean bongrat Aussie staunch up after beating a Russian to the gold. Did anyone even realise pole vaulting was an option in Australia? I had no idea- we never had it at the Blaxland High athletics carnival. Random performances like that are really what makes the Olympics watchable- not watching swimmers have sook when they win a silver instead of gold- I'd much rather a bogan chick like Sally McClelland accidentally drop an S- bomb because she cant believe she came second.
posted by Mr Devine | 8:54 PM
3 Comments:
Good spray !!
My Highlights -
Polish Womens Indoor Volleyball team. WOW. Gigantic hot chicks.
Bolt - Freak
Weightlifting - Exciting
My Lowlights - Channel 7's coverage. Idiots replaying the swimmers over and over and not letting us see a full team game.
Bruce Mcavaney - Worst commentator ever. He was clearly doped up. So boring.
Tennis - Was shit
Soccer - Was boring
I loved the BMX, putting bitumen on the turns was the best idea ever, chaos and pain always make for good watching.
I can't stand any so called sport that has any of the words rhythmic, synchronized, dressage, ping or pong in them. In dressage the fucking horse does all the work, rhythmic gymnastics is just jail bait poncing around a square and synchronized anything is just utter bullshit! If I wanted to watch people simulate drowning I'd find some bitches who can't swim and watch them drown for real. The only high point came when the jap team was docked points because one of them touched the bottom of the pool - she was unconscious and had to be resusitated!
And don't get me started on that Cuban germ who kicked the ref!
Spray of the Year Deevs, well done.
Both Mens and Womens 4x100m relays dropping the baton in woeful early round heats was quite comical as was the oblivious 200m silver medalist yank who carried on like your typical arrogant septic tank when finishing second to Bolt (which admittedly was like winning a gold medal because that bloke is off the charts) doing a full lap of honour making an absolute arse of himself before finally looking up at the board to see DQ next to his name for running out of his lane. This backs up Deevs theory of these blokes being pretty spastic in the co-ordination dept as it surely cant be that hard to run between 2 lines, and also backs up Channel 7's putrid coverage when they stayed on this loser the whole lap of honour finally going to an ad just in time to miss the idiot's reaction to finding out he was DQ'd.
F%cking c*nts!!
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